The Mean Little Column: "It's Been Six Days"

Chain Border

The Mean Little ManIts been 6 days since the terrorist attack. 164.2 hours. 9852 minutes. 591120 seconds. And the French have yet to surrender.

Now I don't know if anyone out there has a consensus opinion of what they think I'm going to say about all this. Well, besides of course, that it sucks. It sucks worse than being anally raped by a bull elephant. On Viagra. Without lube.

It's the biggest fucking tragedy I have yet seen. And I've seen a few. Hurricane Andrew. The Bound Brook floods. The Bee Gees reunion tour. I am pissed and I am angry.

I am a very anti-violence person. To strike in anger is to become an animal. To strike at all should carry a heavy heart and deep respect. And we in America are very prone to being war-hawks. Already people are crowding the streets calling for blood. For the public torture of Bin Laden. I've had some real mixed emotions in the past about Middle Eastern terrorists.

As the statement says: "We must never again view any act of terrorism, any oppression of human rights or civil liberties, as isolated. Each act sows seeds of sorrow, fear, and hatred, and reaps a cycle of pain, oppression, and violence." And we, as a country have contributed greatly to a lot of people having pretty shitty lives.

Two big questions on people's minds are, "Why don't we have state-sponsored assassinations?" and "Why don't we work with human rights violators in gathering intelligence?" Because it is these types of allowances in exercising foreign clandestine policy that got us into this fucking mess.

People hate us because for a very long time we offed opposition leaders in these little counties around the world. Either through sending assassins or training assassins to carry out this specific duty.

Secondly, we supported a lot of assholes in other countries that treated their people like shit. Torture, dictatorships, state sponsored murder. And when the people in these countries find out we signed the checks for their oppression, supplied the arms and trained the troops, all so we can wag a bigger dick than the Russians, they gained a little bit of hatred for all Americans. We did it all over the Middle East. Many countries border Russia, and we depend on the oil. So we stuck our noses in a lot of things. So just sending people over to foreign countries to keep them in line with what we want, usually under the heel of a boot, or through creating leadership vacuums, leaves these countries, and their inhabitants, in miserable conditions.

We cannot use clandestine violence that affects the lives of John Doe and Jane Smith in other countries. Why not? Because that is exactly what fucking terrorism is! But don't think for a second we should sit back and apologize. I'm getting to all that in a second.

The major thing we're dealing with is changing the way we view terrorism. In the past we've looked at it as a judicial matter. Some dickhead blows up a building for his brain-dead hateful beliefs, and he gets prosecuted. Do we prosecute the person who wrote the book that held those brain-dead hateful beliefs? No. Freedom of speech. I love it. You love it. It ensures that every American has a right to be an asshole.

We can't prosecute people who are stating opinions unless they were specifically designed and applied to make this guy go out and kill people. We can go after the person who financed it. Anyone who aided it. But we don't go after people for having hateful beliefs. Before we can step in legally either the asshole has to commit a crime, or we better be able to prove he's gonna commit a crime.

But now we are looking at this as a military matter. In other words, terrorists shall now be looked at as connected to those countries from which their leadership makes its decisions. That any country that does not take every effort to root out terrorists shall be looked at as responsible for the actions of these terrorists. And these terrorists shall be looked at, at that point as representing the interests and agendas of the government of the country that does nothing to stop them. Any country that does not condemn terrorism with more than words shall be looked at by me as a country that supports it. And if your country is not strong enough, we can help. We rebuilt, with American dollars, the Axis countries that killed so many millions. They are now at peace, are democratic and enjoy the highest qualities of living in the world.

Terrorism. Creating terror. Creating fear. It is the lowest of military tactics. By attacking civilians with rampant brutality, we all feel fear. How low. Terrorism uses terror as its tool. I say fight terror with security. Lets be the securitists of the world.

What do I think about all this? I am sad. At least 1 of my friends had a fucking sky scraper dropped on their goddamn heads last Tuesday. Ever since then, I've realized that The Mean Little Man has a fucking target on his forehead. Every American does. We all are targets to these fuckers. I'm an American. I am protected by the American military. The American military's job is killing and for 300 years business has been good. Our record is ten, one and one. If I'm wearing a target on my forehead that means the world is in pretty deep shit. Things must be pretty fucked up out there if this shit is literally in my back yard.

I say we lock this shit down. Afghanistan? Give us Bin Laden. You say he's not responsible for sucker punching us? Doubtful, but ok. But he did bomb the Cole, he did assist the bombing in '93, and he has been responsible for countless deaths. He is guilty of things. You know it and I know it. It's time to account.

Who cares who did it. Terrorism has reached the level of violence that equals the devastation of a large military attack. It is a problem, and it is coming at us. So I say lock this shit down. If a country wants to harbor terrorists, fine. But we'll come in. Close your borders. And strangle the terrorists out in the process. Terrorism needs materials.

And in return we'll help you to raise your countries out of the fucking dark ages where mutilations are acceptable forms of punishment, women and children are traded like chattel, where there is no freedom of religion and where the majority of people shit in fucking holes in the ground and still die of fucking leprosy.

Am I being a bit of an arrogant American? Absolutely. I am arrogant. I feel for anyone's suffering. But terrorists have no bounds of decency. Who trains a child for war? Who would subject the world to have to shoot a child in self defense? The masterminds of these attacks are geniuses. They have figured out ways to acquire millions of dollars of funding, they can infiltrate and destroy and kill. All in the name of their people or their god. Imagine if you used your energies to build schools, heal the sick. You could have built things. But you chose to destroy things.

Anyone who argues whether or not we should retaliate with the intent to disable state-sponsored terrorism need to buy a plane ticket to Kabul and walk down the street. No matter how much of a peace-loving pacifist granola-eating shit between your toes crystal-wearing earth biscuit you may be you bear a target on your head just as I do. I will support your right to feel the way you do. But think of it this way. Maybe you can accept wearing a target. But by seeking no direct military intervention you are condemning me, your parents, your children, and your loved ones, to wearing targets.

Now no one wants their children to have to deal with the horrors of war. What's worse though? Getting your gut shot out and dying slowly choking blood? Or living in a country where no more than 10 people can gather as it will become a target of terrorism. Where suspicion and hatred of your neighbors isolates you from them and vice versa. Where for as much as you are a pacifist there are people that want you to experience pain and fear simply for the land upon which you were born.

Regardless. We're gonna bomb the shit out of someone. That's a given. I do hope we start bombing the shit out of someone so that CNN and every hackneyed-ass radio station in the U.S. will STOP, I repeat STOP, and for a third time, STOP writing cheesy stupid tribute montages and start giving me the bombs-eye-view of some American righteous rage.

I wish that someone would come up with something better than 24 hour coverage of the steaming pile of rubble where the corpse of at least 1 of my friends is located. There are people bitching that we should not retaliate. That we're only worsening the problem.

Here's how it goes. We had a long period of relative peace and prosperity. Now its unfortunately time to give the world a little reminder that part of the joys of being an American is the fact that the US military likes to bomb the shit out of people who kill Americans. And I will support the 1st amendment right of everyone who says that America is a jingoistic, cruel empire founded on murder, violence and aggression.

So long as they totally accept my right to point out that their right to bitch and moan about someone being mean in the world is ensured by the blood and sweat of the aggressive American military and police and firefighters. And just because they probably aren't the sensitive talk-it-out-with-the-bad-guy-types, and probably won't be quoting Keats anytime soon while drinking a Chianti, they are going thousands of miles right now to ensure that bras will always be able to be openly burned, that every faith will be allowed to gather and that this country protects even those that ungratefully openly disagree with its policies.

But don't think for a second my opinion of Bush has changed. He is an oil man that somehow found a way to get Americans to accept a gas price increase, while declaring war on the Middle East. Go figure.

Hugs and smooches,
The Mean Little Man

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