REVIEW: The Mushroom River Band - "Simsalabim"

By Dan Century

Chain Border

SimsalabimGreat. Mother fuckin' wonderful! More hard-rock music to get me pulled over and thrown in jail. Cars + rock + me = jail (or at the very least a $44 dollar ticket for "failure to produce documentation"). There's just something about heavy guitar riffs, thunderous drums and rock-n-roll screams that cause me to exceed the speed limit, drive through red lights, mouth-off at cops and total Chevy Novas…or maybe it's just me, and I'm using the music as an excuse? I don't think so - I rarely have run-ins with the law when I listen to metal, punk, funk, new wave, hard core, industrial, gothic, dance, trance, reggae, rap, chill-out or jazz. I blame rock, or at least the black magic that happens when I mix it with gasoline (and a little whiskey). But enough about me getting thrown in jail and driving like a maniac, let's discuss The Mushroom River Band…

First off, how about that crazy-ass name: the Mushroom River Band. These mother fuckers must be popping' psychedelic 'shrooms by shovel load. Did I mention they're from Sweden? Sweden! I don't even know where that is; maybe it's near France; I don't know.

Then you have to see the album cover: Imagine that kid in your Freshman year high-school biology class - you know that one kid who's all about The Lord of the Rings and Jethro Tull, drawing pictures of wizards on the back of his Mead spiral note book? That is precisely what the artwork looks like. Nothing wrong with it, but that's what it looks like - a crazy, drunk-ass wizard turning his friends into rabbits! That's some crazy shit! But, I like it because it's real. You have to recognize when a band is for real, and the Mushroom River Band is for real.

In this day and age, no one really cares what your album looks like, where you're from, or what your name is - it's the sound that counts, and the Mother Fuckin' Mushroom River Band sound damn good! Good enough to get in my car, drive like a jackass, drink a fifth of Jack Daniels, and get arrested? Yes, it's that mother fuckin' good. So good that I can overlook the cover art or the fact that I can't make a lick of sense out of their lyrics. Squeeze the CD into your stereo and two seconds later you'll hear want I mean…and you'll be headed straight for a lifetime of institutional incarceration.

Simsalabim, the first track, will explode from your speakers with the force of Thor's mighty hammer, compelling you to smash pedal to metal and Spice's screams will command you to drink copious amounts of grain alcohol, vomit, and drink some more. Hell yeah! Bugs will only add more gas to your fire, and Make it Happen will provide the soundtrack for your victory dance on the corpses of your enemies. By the time Change It rips from your stereo, you'll be dismembered and lying in a roadside ditch, pinned under a bus-load of senior citizens on their way to gamble in Atlantic City New Jersey - or you'll be totally alive and drinking Bacardi 151 from their empty skulls. By the time the final note of Run, Run, Run plays you'll be taking over hell, or getting' down with 77 groovy, virgin angels in the heaven of your choice.

If you're fond of other Meteor City releases, or if you've purchased a Fu Manchu, Nashville Pussy, Supersuckers, QOTSA, Atomic Bitchwax or Monster Magnet CD, then you should not let Simsalabim pass you by. If you do, you're probably an asshole and you suck. See you on the highway, mother fuckers!

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Contact Information:
Post: Meteor City Records, PO Box 40322, Albuquerque, NM, 87196

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