The Mean Little Column
"So You Say You Want an Evolution"

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The Mean Little ManWhat is it with these shriveled up old white men and their house-frau polyester pant suit entourage with their fight against evolution in science courses. Jeez. Let me be blunt. I used to believe in evolution. But evolution speaks of progress from a lower life form. I don't see a lot of that. When was the last time Koko the sign language gorilla smacked around a chimp for suggesting they all came from orangutans?

So here we are, and what have we gained? Except for the red bulbous asses and the ability to swing through the trees like Tarzan we're still pretty much a bunch of chattering idiots tossing our feces at anyone who wants our bananas.

So they want to include Intelligent Design in science classes. Ok. I have a new campaign. I want Evolution included in Sunday schools. They want the public education system under their thumb, how about we play a little tit for tat? Be the first time any of these pent up motherfuckers had a tit, let alone a tat for a long time.

How about we debate this in Philosophy class. One based on religion. Because it is not a rival scientific theory, it is a philosophical one. Prove intelligent design and I'll back it. Sure, it would seem like there's a lot of intelligence behind it looking at it from the perspective of a species that can't remember where they put the remote. I back humorous design.

What else would explain a bunch of tight-assed old men and redneck snake handlers being so damned preoccupied with what's going on in someone's pants. Fornicators! Fornicators! God will smite thee for you are a curse on the land!

Jeez. Give it a break. If it weren't for Adam running around nekkid banging away in the shrubbery of the Garden of Eden outside of wedlock none of you would be here.

Whatever. If Darwin were here he'd be fornicating away. He was a sailor and a scientist. Throw him in a robe and with that beard of his he got a Moses look to him.

Whatever. Monkees left the trees. Walked around. Learned to talk. And suddenly they thought the were so fucking special.

Hugs and Smooches!
The Mean Little Man

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