REVIEW: Vampire Beach Babes - "Attack of the Killer Bikinis"


Chain Border

Attack of the Killer Bikinis it says here. A four-track EP, as we used to say in the days before red-book audio.

The title track explores the as-yet uncharted areas where one might possibly find a Rammstein/Cramps collaboration. (Or indeed 'Collaboratron' as I originally had it - I suspect I was right the first time: There's a machine somewhere that exists to accelerate particles from different bands or genres and smash them together to see what new kinds of matter they might create from the subatomic carnage. Here we see the result of colliding Shoutons and Sleazons.)

Anyway. It begins with crunched-up toytown purcussion before turning into Ruhr-Valley surf-metal with mad filter sweeps and swoopy vocals. Utterly mental and truly the sort of soundtrack you'd have on when driving your black ragtop HemiCuda through the industrial areas of San Francisco when hunting nine-foot-tall (Ich bin 9m gros, etc.) escaped Japanese killer robots.

The second track, Hawaii Shirt from Hell, throws Flying Lizards (a particularly odd and splendid band that had a hit with the Beatles' Money some time ago), the Spacefrog remix of Headhunter2000 and the Hawaii 5-0 theme into a large dustbin and then beats soundly on the side with a stout cricket-bat while 'Prez' Prado comes screeching up in a yellow cab gesticulating wildly and yelling something about royalties. Techno-industrial-tiki-sleazecore. Dig it/Bigot large-style, daddio, with whatever comes to hand.

Dark Kind of Ecstacy begins with a mob of cellos squaring up to each other in a dank alley after a night on the tequila, then the acid they all took earlier comes on strongly as a burst of camp handbag techno lurches from the fire-door of the club opposite and throws up over someone's pointy boots. At that point, no-one concerned really knows what to make of events, so they go find an all-night bar that's got Hawkwind Live on the jukebox and listen to that for the next eight hours while alternating Czech lager & cappuccino and arguing distractedly about the correct use of soap, Series Land-Rover modification and where to find the best fish and chips in Whitby.

Several days later, Surfing Space Monster From the Planet Zon staggers off the train with a dazed expression and no luggage other than a small Eddie Bauer holdall, with a false bottom containing a pair of Glock-9s and a large quantity of ammunition. Its first act is to go to an all-night showing of Forbidden Planet, via a Subway. The other patrons are mildly disturbed by the muttering and metallic clicking as the song carefully strips and reassembles its sidearms while abstractedly reciting sections from The Atrocity Exhibition, but they are soon cheered by the healthy crunching of something clearly enjoying its first 'Italian meats' in some considerable time.

Contact Information:
Post: Reclamation Promotions, 243 Dundas St. East, Toronto, Ontario, MSA 1Z7, Canada
Phone/Fax: (416) 203-0326

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