Leo
I know you think
you are getting the royal treatment these days, but believe me – it is
just a façade. Someone IS trying to butter you up for the slaughter.
Don't fall for any Aries tricks for the next month or so, especially on
Mondays. However, since the sun is returning and your birthday will be coming
up sooner than you think, you will be most assured that you will rise to any
occasion.
Virgo
Watch out for
liars these next coming weeks – ex girl/boy friends especially. Also an
evil used car salesman or two. Be aware that these are the times of Loki –
the God of lies. So don't be caught with your innuendoes down.
Libra
Power days are
coming. Get more water, sleep, better food, exercise and diet because you are
soooo gonna need it for the next three months. Things for you will officially
slow down in December so you can regroup. But, for the next few months, keep
your enemies close to you, but your friends closer so they can slap your happy
dramatic ass back into reality when that evil bitch you hate shows up at a
party.
Scorpio
Ho.hum. Things
just plodding right along its merry little way in your dark and crusty world.
By the way: what the fuck is it with you and whipped cream lately?!?! Thank
goddess you aren't lactose intolerant.
Sagittarius
You are
the kind of person that likes to light up Twinkies to see if they are flammable
(by the way, they ARE, if they are NOT fresh.). It is nice to see that the
magic wand of reality has smacked you over the head instead of a two by four. I
really hope this 'being a contributing member of society' shtick of yours is
going to last because that equals lots of money and power in your future if you
follow up and stay the course.
Capricorn
Okay –
I'm gonna say that since your Capricorn moon will be entering around somewhere
near the 2nd weekend of August and, looking at the other elements for the next
six weeks surrounding you, be prepared for the emotional roller coaster of that
which we call "YOUR LIFE." Let me explain: First, we got you rebelling against
Virgo & Cancer’s Logic and reason. THEN we got your emotions outta
whack between Libra and Scorpio. Plus you are keeping lusty Aries and Leos
co-workers at bay . Emotions are being split right now between love and lust
and love vs. logic. So who will win this hayride? Depends on what it is you
TRULY want out of life, Bucky!
Aquarius
You know,
hiding from the world will not make the oogie darkness which is in your soul go
away. No matter how many times you move, no matter how many times you run away:
the evil stays with you. It's like fabric sheets. In the laundry you call life,
it just sticks to you. Confront and face your fears before September. I hope
you actually take my advice.
Pisces
Actually life for
you is great – don't conjure up old dead ghosts that have already
transgressed beyond the veil. It is good to see you are now living in the
current time instead of dwelling on the past. In fact, why the fuck are you
reading this???? Go out to a fucking movie or dinner or something. Get out of
the house. GO!!!!
Aries
No one except a
Virgo goes to the doctor more than you. You should be happy around the end of
July/beginning of August. There is much chaos and you thrive on it. You like to
create chaos for your friends just because it gives you something to do when
you are bored. Don't gloat on other people's misery and you have other issues
to deal with right now. Like your family for instance. Your family really need
to fall back on you right now. You got to be the strong one for their
sake.
Taurus
Just a normal
day in paradise for you sweetie. Actually things are looking up in your future.
You are even giggly every now and again. Just let everyone else dance the dance
of the idiot brigade and you just sit and watch the floor show.
Gemini
This is a strange
place for you to be right now. You have two choices: to be either honest about
who you have fucked OR to lie about who you HAVEN'T fucked. Either way you may
be just fucked. The choice is yours and will either destroy or affirm someone's
feelings about you. I am so glad to not be you right now.
Cancer
I have noticed
that when the sun is in your sign everyone is having charity walks and fun runs
for every Cause/Illness/Organization. You name it. (You know: Race for a cure.
Save the Lemmings.) Hence why you have such a bleeding heart/cause fighter
nature. Save the wombat posters in your kitchen. Clicking on the hunger
site.coms on every computer on the floor of your office where you work to get
another can of food for children/puppies and rainforests everywhere. You live
for the quirky cause. However, do not let it suck you up until all that is left
is a middle-aged clog-wearing wanna-be hippy in expensive tie dye and all that
is left of you is just scar tissue. To be a cause fighter, you don’t have
to wear Birkenstocks. Okay, I do. But I'm a Libra, deal with it. Don't let
causes and "The Right Thing" force YOU to do something that You feel is wrong
or makes YOU uncomfortable. OKAY? Ok. By the way .I also go to hunger sites and
click daily. And at work. So you ain't alone either.
