Leo
Okay, so with the delusions
of Godhood out the window it looks like smooth sailing but for only about a
month. But that gives you enough time to catch a movie and your
emails.
Virgo
Get the clue that
you need to stop paying for sex, OKAY??? No? Alright, try this
number…1-976---
Libra
You are completely
tired of everyone’s bullshit. You need a vacation. BAD. I’m
thinking’ margaritas and nekkid men personally.
Scorpio
You need to help
Libras get away from everyone’s bullshit, babe. They need YOU. With your
special “FUCK YOU ALL” ‘tude.
Sagittarius
Friends need
you to help pull their heads out of their asses. And YOU are just the person to
do it, too!
Capricorn
You need to
take a moment or two and just reflect on the insanity that has been shooting at
your head for the last 12 months. I see a vacation this same time next year in
your future…
Aquarius
You need help.
Get out, get laid, get a facial, I can give a flying fig whatever it is you go
do...just go somewhere and get a new something because you are on the rung
right before you hit everyone’s shit list. I just had a recent friend of
mine, naturally an Aquarius, get a blow job in a hearse recently...typical.
Fuckin Aquarius, one way or another they are either cumming or
going.
Pisces
Blowjobs are the
only thing on your mind right now…oh well, why mess with a good thing.
It’s not like you are using your brain for anything else right
now...
Aries
Planning for your
future is the best thing for yourself that you can do. For you and your family.
Keep at it, little camper ! ! !
Taurus
Just
relax…everything will be well. Think happy thoughts and deep breaths and
stop listening to your roommates crap.
Gemini
You little lying
two faced mutha fucker. No wonder no one trusts you. You lie way too much than
the normal person.
Cancer
Time for some new
shoes baby! Because you have let the fashion side of you just totally go to
shit! What have you done to YOU?
