Blind Dog's Captain Dog Rides Again sat in my CD changer for the entire summer and now the time has come to review it, three months after I first got my hands on it and ten days after the review was supposed to be handed in to Legend's editor. Why didn't I review it sooner? Well, it was summertime and summertime is the time to have fun, even if fun means staying inside, playing video games and watching crappy DVDs not that writing reviews isn't fun, but... Even when I was unemployed for three weeks in September, I couldn't find time to write the review between the trips to Taco Bell, the shots of Blackhaus and rounds of Devil May Cry. I guess my point is that I'm a lazy man.
The good news is Captain Dog Rides Again is a great rock n' roll album. For most of the past three months Captain Dog Rides Again has held it's own against Turbonegro, Led Zeppelin, the White Stripes, or whatever other rock CDs I mixed it with. All things considered, it's an excellent soundtrack to accompany your travels to and from work, the bar, the places where you encounter sexual partners, the stores where you buy products and home.
Captain Dog Rides Again is so good and so unique, that I was inspired to find out more about the band. The logical thing to do would be to buy their other albums, or visit their web site, but I'm not logical. Instead I focused in on the fact that Blind Dog are from Sweden. Despite the fact that Blind Dog sing in perfect English, they are from Sweden. Sweden, in case you didn't know is a country in Europe. Where you ask? Well, I didn't know either, so I bought the 2002 World Almanac, which is like an encyclopedia for people who don't have space in their apartments for 26 hard cover books, or like Google for people who want to look up information with the convenience of being able to read facts while sitting on the toilet.
Sweden facts (circa 2002):
1) Sweden is a kingdom, which means they have a king. In the United States, we have presidents who are appointed by supreme courts.
2) Sweden is part of that piece of Europe that hangs off of Russia like it's waving at England. I used to think that was Holland (where they make tulips, Heineken, weed, wooden shoes and windmills), but it's not. Holland, which is really called "The Netherlands," is a glob of land stapled to the top of Germany.
3) Sweden has approximately 8.8 million citizens, which is less than the population of New York City. I'm pretty sure that New York City has more rats as well.
4) Sweden has an infant mortality rate of 3.47 per 1000 births. The United States has an infant morality rate of 6.76 per 1000. If you're a baby, Sweden is the place to be.
5) Sweden has a 100% literacy rate, which means that if this review was written in Swedish, everybody in Sweden could read it. The United States has a literacy rate of 97%, which means that of the 50,000 or so Americans that read Legends every month, 1,500 of you will decide to purchase Captain Dog Rides Again based solely on how cool the cover art looks.
6) Some Swedish bands choose to vocalize entirely in English, despite the fact that they are not from England just like the entire population of the United States!
7) Goths came from Sweden: "Gothic tribes from Sweden played a major part in the destruction of the Roman Empire" . Okay, this part is important. The whole reason 97% of you are reading this article is because of Sweden. Goths came from Sweden. Legends is a Gothic zine. You read it because you're probably a Goth. Blind Dog is Swedish. Buy Captain Dog Rides Again.
Okay, now that we've established the fact that Blind Dog are Swedish and the original Goths are from Sweden and maybe you should buy their album solely based on those facts it's time to get on with the actual review of the album. Or maybe not, because I know a few of you are not quite convinced about the whole Swedish thing, and you're thinking: "I've eaten a lot of Swedish Fish, so I've paid my Gothic dues." Wrong! Those Swedish Fish you ate were made in Newark, New Jersey in a machine that a week before was used to make house paint. And even if they were "special imported" Swedish Fish, if you ate them at a rave that doesn't count either because at raves you eat them while sniffing mentholated petroleum jelly, with a glow stick bracelet and a jester hat and some guy named "Morpheus Aurora" is licking your neck and that's WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Let's get something straight: raves are from England, Swedish Fish are from Newark, and you still need to buy Captain Dog Rides Again.
This might come as a shock, but Blind Dog is not a Gothic band and their music is about as Gothic as Notorious B.I.G. Blind Dog is a rock band, who weave together many rock genres to form a sound that is both familiar and unique at the same time. They're a little bit thrash, a little bit grunge, a little bit classic rock (the good parts like Zeppelin and Sabbath) and a whole lot of "stoner rock" each song has it's own flavor of heavy rock, but all of them kick ass.
For me the mark of a good album is one which makes me drive like a maniac, freak-out, scream along at the top of my lungs, beat out rhythms on my dashboard, play air drums at red lights and not care about all the strange looks I'm getting from the people in the cars around me. I must look like a mad man when I listen to Captain Dog Rides Again but who cares? Let them stare the ignorant fools ignorant of the majesty of Blind Dog rock n' roll!
If you want one of the best rock albums of 2003, the best "stoner rock" album of 2003, or you want to support the whole Swedish / Goth thing, buy Captain Dog Rides Again.
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