Hello my darling little kidlets! My my my, is it ever good to see you after my blathering banter box went on the fritz last month. While I did yack a little bit at the end of the whopping 48-page Legends #136 back in October, I then went completely bumbled through #137 and said absolutely nothing of import—as a matter of fact, I probably should not have put myself down as one of the writers that month...no wait, I did do some books, didn’t I?
It’s nearing 6AM and I just got done fighting with some internet porn company who claims I bought something nasty to look at from them. I won’t go into details on what they claimed to have sold me—besides, I didn’t go to it to get you details because then they would have turned around and said, “Welp, your computer’s IP address is on file as a visitor so...here’s your bill and enjoy your wack...iness!” But suffice to say that the name of this supposedly purchased subscription site was, to put it mildly, poundingly wrong. I’m all for free speech (FUCK YOU) and freedom of expression (my favorite shirt says, “Every time you masturbate God kills a kitten.”)…I always say, well, whatever floats your boat! But that certainly doesn’t mean I need to see you float, or that whatever it is that’s in your proverbial boat isn’t going to sink mine like a stone.
Now some of you may have been wondering where I’ve gotten off to (strange to follow up the last paragraph with a reference to “getting off,” no?), but I’ve been mad ass busy. If it’s not kicking things it’s typing them. If it’s not typing them it’s arguing about them. If it’s not arguing about them or kicking them or typing them it’s dreaming about it while I get my 4-6 hours of sleep a night. Actually, my sleep schedule is more around 7, which is damn good considering who it is you’re dealing with here.
But if you are interested, and I know you are because you love me, I did finally sign on the elusive bottom line with my biggest client and have become “one of them.” That means I get to see what that insurance stuff does soon, (by the time you read this, actually), which is nice because I hear it’s way cool. And just in time, too (actually, a little late) since it seems that I will have yet another child to pass on my glorious empire to when I finally kick the bucket! That’s right folks, I’ve managed to fit sex in the schedule somewhere and am going to be a father again…
But since I mention kicking the bucket, which is a term for death of course as I’m sure you know, and since death also involves gravestones in some cases, I’d like to mention my return to the fictional fray with Piss On Your Grave this issue. Some of you may have seen it back in October, 2002 in The City Morgue...some of you have never seen it...but none of you have seen the work done up for it by our newest artiste’ Jayme Rainer along with her cohort Lee Alverson. That’s right folks, Lee is back...and while he got to play with a bedroom scene this month, it didn’t involve hanky panky so sorry to disappoint. But enjoy the story anyway!
Also, Unkle Joz comes back with what might be a domino style three part serial called Tracey Tears. Just about two years ago Joz popped in with a piece entitled Lucy Grieves, and here he is again with his dark surreality for those of you that just like messing your heads up with words instead of snorts, injections, smokes, etc. (it’s safer that way, you know). So I’ve pulled in Terry W. Gintz for the ride on this one, who some of you may remember as artist TWG at Surreal RAYn (www.legendsmagazine.net/pan/rayn). Terry’s a surrealist with colors the way Joz is with words, so the two have gone together perfectly. Tracey Tears will run through and including February, 2004.
Looking at the page, I see I’ve blabbed enough for all of us concerned, so I will return you to your irregularly scheduled programming. This issue should be a bit short, considering a lot of factors (dollars being one, so see our ad rates), but there’s still plenty to gander at—at least a few dumps worth for you bathroom readers. Take it easy, and y’all read back now y’hear?
Marcus Pan 