REVIEW: Uncle Fucker – “Usurpers of the Tradition”

By Dan Century

Chain Border

Usurpers of the TraditionWhen I first found out I was going to review a band named Uncle Fucker I immediately thought of the song Uncle Fucker from the South Park movie. In that movie the phrase is not used literally – it’s a “dis” or insult, like “mother fucker” or “cock sucker.” I assumed that the band Uncle Fucker took their name from the South Park movie – until their CD arrived in my PO Box. After seeing the CD artwork, visiting their web site, viewing their video and listening to their disc, I’m not so sure anymore. I now think Uncle Fucker are in fact actual uncle fuckers. You read me right: Uncle Fucker are most likely uncles who get fucked, and / or fuckers who fuck uncles.

I know what you’re thinking! “What makes you think Uncle Fucker are uncles who get fucked, and / or fuckers who fuck uncles?” Well, I’ll tell you why. First lets start with the CD artwork and packaging. The cover is strange: imagine an oil painting of a punk-rock horse wearing human clothes – that’s just crazy. Then on the back there’s a scene from a mosh pit featuring a topless woman, wearing leaopard skin panties, covered in scars, open sores…and the track listing for the CD. The track list for the CD is written on her body – that’s double crazy! Open the CD case and you’ll find a picture of a man kissing a dog, recipes for mixed drinks, satanic ponys, a picture of the band hung from an old oak tree and (best of all) super-hot cowgirl go-go chicks! But wait, there’s more! Put the CD in your computer, and you can view more pictures of super-hot cowgirl go-go chicks, a.k.a. “Fuckerettes,” and a Quicktime video of a live Uncle Fucker show featuring plenty of red-hot “Fuckerette” action. Oh yes…these Uncle Fuckers are definitely fucking. Fucking crazy! Fucking cool! Fucking awesome! Fucking incredible! What about the musc?

Uncle Fuckers’ music – a 50/50 mixture of shit kickin’ bluegrass and bloody steel-toe New York hardcore punk – is as fucked up crazy as their name. You’re in store for hard rocking guitars, thunderous drums, surly & sexy vocals and fiddle playing that would kick the devil’s shiny red behind and bring him to his knees! Listening to Uncle Fucker is like getting laid reverse-cowgirl style while being strapped onto the roof of a nitro-burning funny car. It’s crazy, yo! Crayzee! Uncle Fucker is the greatest country-fried, genre-twisting mind-fuck since the Supersuckers and Southern Culture on the Skids. Rap-metal bullshit is so 20th century. It’s time for mother uncle fucking “grasscore!”

The album is kind of shady, so they don’t list who wrote which songs, but at least one of them was made famous by the late, great Johnny Cash. That song is Tennessee Stud, a song about a horse. Uncle Fucker play the song so rockin’, and the cowgirl vocals are so sugar sweet ‘n’ sexy, you would think the song was about something other than a horse – or maybe that horse on the cover of the album? Uncle Fucker should be proud of this cover song – it’s the best cover of a Johnny Cash song I’ve ever heard, and it’s a testament to their skill as musicians and their amazing talent. Beyond the crazy name, wild album artwork, and go-go cowgirl antics: Uncle Fucker are an amazing group. If you enjoy classic country, bluegrass, hardcore punk, or a wild sexy go-go cowgirl stageshow, you best get your ass to an Uncle Fucker show, and quick now. Ya hear?

If you’re ready for a night of heavy drinking, fighting and fucking, Uncle Fucker’s Usurpers of the Tradition is the right album for you. Slide Usurpers into your slot, and party ‘til you’re wearing handcuffs.

Contact Information:
Post: Uncle Fucker, 182 Hoyt St. #1, Brooklyn, NY, 11217, USA
Phone: (917) 653-5589
E-Mail: grizzlyizzy@aol.com
Web: www.unclefucker.net

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