REVIEW: Green Andy—“Correct”

By Dan Century

Chain Border

CorrectGreen Andy’s Correct is not music – it is a biological weapon! It is crude, dirty, defective, minimalist, avant-garde noise – if Lyme disease had a soundtrack, it would be this album. Put Green Andy in your ears, and your life will start falling apart faster than you can say Spongiform Encephalopathy.

The best way to describe the “songs” on Correct is not to describe instrumentation, or to reflect on the lyrics – no, the best way is to describe what the songs would sound like if they represented some of most horrible moments in your life.

Knife Goddess is the sound of DYFUS taking your children from you, and giving them to an abusive foster family. Countryside sounds like a hernia operation without anesthesia. Mastodon is like having psoriasis on your balls.

Despair is the sound of having to change your brother’s diaper. And your brother is 47 years old. Paint Hard is like having someone puke in your car. Informazioni is the sound of your urologist counting your genital warts. Scream About Symbol is the sound of getting all F’s on your report card, and your Mom doesn’t love you any more.

Angel Fashion is the sound of being trapped in an overturned spurt utility vehicle in some ditch in New Jersey for 37 hours. Trap Maybe is like finding out your girlfriend likes Creed and she’s pregnant. More Ghost is like finding a long black hair in your birthday cake, and a scab in your ice cream.

Full In Can is like your girlfriend asking you if her ass looks big in her new jeans for the 197th time. It is also like getting a root canal. And Magnetosphere is the sound of your condom breaking, or having $13,000 dollars in credit card debt.

Green Andy’s Correct is an aural Weapon of Mass Destruction. It should be popular in caves, torture chambers and spider holes everywhere.

Contact Information:
Finding Datura Recordings
Post: 512 Lincoln Way W, Mishawaka, IN, 46544-1807, USA

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