Rambling Thoughts From the 8th Floor Bathroom

By Marcus Pan

Chain Border

'Tis gettin on till 3:30 in the AM and I must first thank you for leaving me some coffee. I am also quite pleased to announce that my key card works wonderfully without a hitch. But this is not the early-morning ramblings that I wish to impart upon and assail thee with in these early morning hours. Instead, I wish to impart some knowledge that I have gained and am privileged to pass on...knowledge that I have walked the deconstructed halls to possess...knowledge that I have travailed far and wide to gain and now pass on to you freely. A piece of knowledge that has been, with much fervor and in colored ink, been posted upon the walls of our shared 8th floor bathroom walls.

For as I stood there, allowing myself to flow freely, I spied upon the wall, contradicting nicely in an artistic way above the hole between the urinals, a sign that I assume to have been posted by the 8th floor tenants. And this sign reads thusly:

"The bathrooms on the 8th floor are for tenants of the 8th floor only. Please remember that using them is a privilege..."

Admittedly, that's a paraphrase, for it is late and my mind is numb and I dare not taketh from the hallowed (st)halls this knowledgeable and, admittedly, great discourse from our fri

And I have come back down to you all with new insights! Remember this always, that to pee, or not to pee, that is NOT the question. To pee is, indeed, not a basic human right, NAY! 'Tis a great privilege of nature that we possess! So remember this always my fellowmen, for when thy unzip and allow the levee to flow freely, that you are experiencing a true privilege, amen and blessed be! A privilege that for generations has been passed down from grandfather to father...father to son! So the next time thy call of Mother Nature doth land upon your cubicle wall and whisper the pressures of the bladder, that it is not with impertinence you should rise and walk the deconstructed halls to thy stalls on high...remember instead, that to leave thy work for the briefest of times and wander to the urinals is a privilege that you should always cherish!

And for goth's sake wash your hands...your pee's your privilege, not mine.

Onward to more procedure writing...

Brought to you by the eccentric writer guy,

The above essay is an excerpt from the Journal of Marcus Pan Part Six. This was in entry 712, dated April 26th 2000 at 11:49 AM.

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