The Mean Little ColumnWelcome Back
By The Mean Little Man
Its been over two years without afternoon
drive fun. An ingloriously long time to deal with disgusting Rawk Bwocks, the
latest Nickleback tune, or some other bland boring talk show rehashing the same
tired old themes. Blech. Puke. Belch and fart.
When Buddy Ebson died, I put my ear to the radio for a
miracle, a whoooo doggy. But nothing came.
When the Olsen twins were on the verge of turning 18, all I
could do was imagine Anthony perched beneath their windows with a stopwatch,
crowbar and a box o Ramses, humming Ants In My Pants.
I laughed when Stern got booted from more markets than
Olestra and had to fight back a whispy tear of bittersweet nostalgia every time
I heard the words, Be Dialing People. Tyson just isnt as fun
So last week I sat there in great anticipation. My XM in one
hand, my bawx wine in the other. For weeks I had sat pins and needles staring
at this little miracle of modern invention waiting to hear O&A. From
I just like telling people I get my music (ominous pause)
I cant tell you how nice it is to hear Jim Norton
again. Meaty moobs and all. Welcome back sir. Its nicer now that youre
out from under the thumb of the FCC (Fucking Cunts and Christians or Fingered
Cunts and Cocksuckers) and we can all hear your uncensored lecherous
self-deprecating autobiographical tomes of fun and giggles. Its nice to
know Im not the only disgusting awful human on the planet. Once again
turning tragedy into comedy.
It was so good to hear you back, I would have done the
wiffle ball bat challenge. Over the Summer when Stern started getting the heat
from the FCC I tuned into the hacks show for the first time in 6
2 Weeks later? Turn it off. Turn it off. TURN IT OFFFF. Very
soon his days of finger-banging Mary Jane Rotten Crotch through her pearly pink
panties are over.
Tell you what, if you need a new Foosball table? Its
yours, compliments of the Mean Little Man. Need a new lesbian couch? Done.
Seriously. No hitches. Just let me know where to drop them off. No plugs
required. If the opportunity arises Id like to say thanks for the shits
and givizzles over a few cold ones and video games. Just want you to know you
have friends here at MeanLittleMan.com.
Fuck Spaz. Fuck Al Dukes. Francine will be missed. AFRO
lives forever in our hearts. And, yes Precious, your title of funniest NEW
radio host lives on. I love the smell of spewed enema in the morning. Smells
Jeezus. This was touching. The softer side of the pointy
headed freak. Makes me have to go clean the palate by spanking it to the love
scene in The Accused.
P.S. Next time you see Lewis Black, tell him from me that
communism is dead and that Bush is doing a great job for the country.
Hugs and Smooches,
The Mean Little Man on 10-19-04
For music, yelling, spiked hair and strange dress,
visit The Mean Little Man at his official shrine on the web! (www.meanlittleman.com)