Department

The Mean Little Column—“The Mean Little Site is Back Fuckers”

By The Mean Little Man

The Mean Little ManAnd The Mean Little Man is back! Ok. It been hit and miss now for rants and other such love notes for the past two years. And I know you malcontent mouth-breathers are all saying, “Yeah, sure! See you again in 9 months!”

But the site is back. Its buggier than Courtney Love’s skivvies and has more holes than Lori Hacking, but the rants are back and the rest is coming. What happened? What caused such a huge downtime!!?! Well…

The money-grubbing asshole machine that is the music industry spanked my Internet music partners. We had tons o’ crap up for damned near free on MP3.com back when it had a soul.

After working with the service for over 5 years, since it was part of wav.com, they went through what latte-enema swilling yuppie dickheads call a paradigm shift. Rather than offer a service to the thousands of independent musicians and artists willing to shell out yearly fees, it was deemed better to toss up the same shit that can be found every where else.

The communications reform act has gone from a noble attempt to infuse the cable and media industries with a little consumer-rewarding competition, to a media butt plug that’s been reaming the consumer since Napster-gate. Currently about 6 companies control 90% of the airwaves and content providers out there. Meaning that since the legislative walls came down a single company can have controlling interests in television, music, radio and movie industry outlets. In other words, if you want to get anywhere in mainstream media, you better be real bland, really marketable and really really submissive to your management. Why?

Well, if you piss off your record company, its not like you can go elsewhere unless you’re already HUGE. And that record company also owns the movie company you’re going to court for soundtrack residuals and a cross-over to acting. They control the TV industry that will put you as a guest on Everybody Blows Raymond to pump your latest oatmeal bullshit bland offering, and can influence if you’ll ever see the light of an endorsement contract. They’re in bed with the Internet media to put your stuff out there and the news programs that will review you, or divulge your dirtiest dildo-loving secrets.

It’s beyond an ability to bury you. They can make you go away. Completely.

The Internet was a godsend for music. I could go on and search through thousands of artists and hundreds of thousands of songs to find stuff I liked. But this didn’t put a dime in the pockets of one of the Big 6, so they crushed it. Intimidating any established service with lawsuits and threats so that now they all offer the same bland de-balled U2 song for $0.99 downloads. In a nutshell? MP3.com pussied out and all our artists lost the easy conduit to reach you.

That’s only a part of it all. We ran into some serious technical and message questions that had to be addressed. What was MeanLittleMan.com? What did we want it to be? It all came about from Mean Little man Productions about 10 years ago. My little foray into producing to give untried and unpolished talent a vehicle. That worked, but you know what? It was also my damned site to show off my idiocy, because I enjoy being an awful human.

But there’s a contradiction there. To best serve the artists the site had to be consumer-friendly, and aggressive in how it conducted its business. In time if you do something good you either grow into a major player, sell it out, or turn into a hack just spilling out the same spew, each time with a little less passion. You can actually feel your dignity oozing out of you like so much smegma.

We had ideas, but the site got to be a fucking mess. Harder to clean up than a Chechen grade school gymnasium. Just to keep it going it took so much fucking effort that we couldn’t branch out into the new and fun shit we wanted to do. So when MP3.com went down we lost our Internet music service and hosting and CD sales capabilities. People jumped ship. Things got fugly, so we tore it all down.

So its time to get back to roots, and not try to be anything that we’re not. This site is dedicated to miscreants and malcontents. It’s mine. And I’m gonna make it into what I wish was around back before I turned into a poser sellout hack and still had a glimmer of hope in my eye.

1) A place for the opinions of miscreants and malcontents. Of course, who better but I to be the judge of such griminess and angst. I didn’t get dubbed The Mean Little Man for nothing you testicle ticklers!

2) A place for independent music. No reaching for the stars here. We’re not going to put together some huge business model or a road map for an artist’s success. We’ll have shit for musicians up soon. Put your shit up? We’ll do what we can for any Mean Little Artist.

3) A place for Independent art and writing. Nothing fancy. It’s about getting it up, and keeping it up. Beyond that, what does anyone need?

4) We’re gonna bust ass producing, but not let it take us over. We don’t have a lot of resources, so we can’t go for shit we’re not passionate about. LegendsMagazine.net is our brother in the biz for a reason.

5) When in doubt? Offend. Fuck’em all!

6) We won’t go beyond who we are. There will be mistakes. We leave them in on purpose. We will not censor. And if you don’t ‘get it’ you’ll probably be just one more bucket of monkey-spooj that writes how you hate me. If you like the site? Cool. Probably an indicator you’re a moron, have a dead hooker in the freezer, or both.

7) If you don’t like it, then write every press person you can you right or left-wing fascist fucktard. Remember, if you’re gonna burn it at the next juegen rally, buy 10 and get an angry mob discount.

So, we’re back, and not going away again. Got it? Please voice your disappointment at our lack of demise.

Hugs and Smooches,
The Mean Little Man on 10-20-04

For music, yelling, spiked hair and strange dress, visit The Mean Little Man at his official shrine on the web! (www.meanlittleman.com)