By Auntie PanPan
DON'T GET A HAIRCUT FOR
GOD'S SAKE!!! Right now especially...wait until Valentine's day or St. Patty's
day. Right now you need all the magic energy replenishing powers you can get!
Leo's are generally egotistical...but deep down, we know you are sensitive
pussies. Maybe you are dealing with job issues or even worse, a relationship
breakup. Look on the bright side, you should enjoy the moments you have with
people. The point is: Enjoy the here and now. For we all might never be in the
same place twice.
Why can't you just let shit die?!? I hate
to break it to you, but you drive friends away when you sound like a broken
record. Over and over again with the same old song and dance: "they hurt me!"
or "They broke my heart!" Get over it! Why is it that Virgos are the hardest
sign to smack in the head with a reality stick? You dwell. Or actually, you
constantly repeat yourself. I don't get it. I have one Virgo friend that just
will not give up the ghost. She lost her job, right? It's been a year and a
half, she still thinks that a job will come and find her. Virgos, please listen
to your Auntie. The only things that will come to you are those that you go and
seek for yourself. GO!
For some reason, all the Air signs are
under the weather lately. Either they are sick and tired from bronchitis or
pneumonia. Winter is always hard on all the air signs, but Libras always get
kicked in the teeth the worst. Why? Seasonal Anxiety Disorder? Post Holiday
Depression? Who the hell knows?! I can tell you this, though. The hardest thing
to get motivated to do anything during the Winter is a Libra. Either that or a
wounded water buffalo. The only way to motivate a Libra in the dark season is
cold hard cash! Or a shopping spree. Don't be fooled, gang. Oh, sure. Libras
are portrayed as these Zen-like creatures that sit on a mountain top while
reading Koans. Show them a sale at Hot Topic? They will FIND motivation.
Suggestion: start your budgeting sometime at the beginning of Spring, if this
is all that feels like keeping you going.
You know, sometimes, I know you hate to
but, you are NOT right 100% of the time. I know you think you are
always right, and yes, you have 99% or the planet fooled into thinking you are
a super genius. HOWEVER. Taking your life into your own hands and blowing your
existence to the fates just to prove a point to someone that you are right?
That's beyond dumb. Yeah, you heard me. Dumb. Scorpios think they got everyone
fooled. Okay, most of the time, you do. But I was raised by FIVE Scorpios. I
know you are all NUTS. All I can say is: Do not court death to prove a point.
We would be sad to see you leave this life, just because you had to be right
about something that does not matter in the big picture. Learn to take a
fucking joke and move the hell on to better carnival rides, schnoodles!
You have got the traveling bug biting
you so hard on the ass that you are beginning to hate even sitting down. The
problem is you throw your caution to the four winds and hope for the best.
Planning sometimes can be a good thing. Maybe a family reunion or a get
together with your psycho fiends and friends you haven't seen in a while?
Planning can be our friend. If this is too much effort for you get someone else
to plan an event for you, then. Heaven knows you have enough minions to do the
job for you, if you just ask them politely enough.
Feel like you have been stalked lately?
Probably because you have been. Cappies right now are in an interesting phase
of change. Finding their own voices and listening to their own souls instead of
the outcries of others telling them what to do. The bad part to this is that
relationships suck rocks in hell. You either have one person treating you like
shit. Or someone else stalking you. Or even worse, both at the same time. You
seriously need to get your priorities in order, mate. Learn the art of dating
again, instead of: "Gee, you seem nice, let's move in together!" Capricorns
must come to the realization that the best way for them to live, sometimes, is
alone. Without the "EX" stealing your dog, your ice cube trays and your bath
towels. Remember Cappie: The less relationships you are in, the less of your
shit will be stolen.
You know the age old saying, 'It is
better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all?' Such is the
case with you. Although you think your life is complete and total shit, this
too, shall pass. However, in your case, life feels much worse when you lose
someone you love. Life is made of choices. Good or bad, all the choices that
you make in life are your own. You hate the way life treats you? Then fucking
Health problems have been abounding with
you lately. Mostly in the hands and feet areas. Carpal Tunnel could be swimming
in your system recently, too. You hate Winter, hence why you move to
higher/warmer climates if possible. Maybe a broken leg or hand happened to you
recently. It's time to really consider taking those Calcium pills that dear old
mom swore by when you were young and stupid (and not really listening). I have
a ton of Pisces friends that all have hand problems. Ironically feet are
suppose to be the mainstay for the fish folk. Now might be the right time to
look into Reflexology to see if your feet are happy because the rest of your
body might follow suit. Maybe even Reiki might be a good suggestion as well.
But don't give up your hobbies or exercising just because you don't feel good.
Just slow down a little until you feel a little better.
The ram is full of choices. Let me be
blunt. Aside from Taurus having an addictive personality, Aries can be just as
bad when coming to overindulgence (i.e.: Drinking, drugs, sex and scandal).
Some Aries grow up real fast, real quick and too young so they know the
repercussions if they backslide. However, there comes a point in every Aries
life where they have to decide if they are going to be a parent or a party
babe. If Aries choose the wrong path for themselves it will come back to haunt
them. Aries MUST always follow the direction they know is best. It may be
horrible at first, but if it is the path you feel in your soul as the proper
path then follow it.
You either stalk the ones you love or even
worse. I don't know how I feel about the bull currently. I have dealt with a
whole bunch of them recently and let's be blunt: all the female Taurus
have their shit together, but the Taurus men? You are all in rehab. Or should
be. You have a problem with addictions of any sort (Sex can be an addiction
too! So can eating and smoking.) You need to realize what you love more. The
people who love you? Or the drug (pick a drug...any drug!) Make your conclusion
and stick with it. Stop pissing around.
Busy busy busy. That's you to a T. Always
busy doing something. You are someone that desperately needs a PDA/Palm Pilot.
Or maybe one of those phones that have email access. That would be a good thing
for you. You have been blessed with the gods of communication. But you hate
communication with idiots. It's hard to be radiant when you deal with people
that think Vera Wang is a side dish at an all you can eat buffet. You need to
circulate more and broaden your mental horizons.
Love. Wow. This is new. When did that
truck go by? Oh, alright, maybe not exactly love...but at least a torrid three
week love affair. Remember my age old motto: "If you are what you eat...I could
be YOU by morning." But yes. There is someone in your life that makes you
smile. They have been there for gods know how long. Your problem is that you
never know what to say when you lose a window of opportunity and that makes
your timing complete shit. Learn timing. Practice saying what you mean and
meaning what you say. Good luck.