CD Review

V/A – “Anomalous Silencer No. 6”

By Marcus Pan

It has come. The worst marketed, worst packaged, worst made and worst sounding “music” compilation CD in the history of the planet. It arrived on my desk from my friends at the Detroit Electronica Coalition, who has supplied me with the D[electronic]T(1) compilations (I received the 3rd of this series along with this) which I’ve really liked. I don’t know if the DEC wanted to fuck with me, piss me off or just ruin my attitude – but along with it came this dirty old cardboard-book with a CD on the last semi-card stock page.

Anomalous Silencer No. 6 is frightening. It’s frightening that there have been FIVE OTHERS in this “series.” This one is from 2003, and I haven’t received a No. 7 or anything, so I’m hoping that creator Rodek Kopel from the Czech Republik has decided to give up any attempts at musical creation, compilation or recording and moved to something like grave digging or maybe food service since then. Thirty seven horrible clips of nothing more than un-rhythmic, uncreative and utterly useless noise is what we have here. From some kid in a basement growling into a microphone (and a badly tuned up mic at that) to some fucking idiot who bangs on shit in the frenzy of an epileptic crossover…it’s all here. The worst shit anyone has EVER bothered to press.

Being this is a compilation, I typically would go track by track. But I just can’t bring myself to do it. I have to protect my readers from this…the “worst music compilation CD in the history of the planet.” Sometimes it will sound like gastro intestinal diseases, sometimes a car accident, sometimes blips and bleeps and sometimes somebody will pick their teeth with a bass’ E string. That’s pretty much the extent of all of it. Oh and lots of noise. Outside noise, inside noise, internal noise, combustible noise and destructive noise. Somebody tell these worldwide idiots that this isn’t fucking music and that the next time I get one of these I’m going to go to Germany and beat the shit out of Chaos Holokaust Massaker (nice spelling), stop by Japan and kick Humberg around and give the Netherlands’ The Industrial Wiping System a piece of my mind…and fist. This just isn’t right.

Here’s a free hint for Rodek and his cohorts. Throughout this badly laid out and horribly presented CD “case” or “book” or “liner notes” or whatever you want to call this piss colored paper…you’ll find bits and pieces about the “music” on the CD. Allow me to draw your attention to the notes for track 34, Tonox by the aforementioned Industrial Wiping System. I quote: “Pure improvisation using feedback only.” Now here’s that free hint…

FEEDBACK IS NOT, IN ANY FORM, AN INSTRUMENT…

Don’t improvise with it! Instead turn off the feedback and play the fucking instrument! There’s your free hint to the world at large who have found themselves contributing to Anomalous Silencer No. 6. Pressing buttons isn’t doing shit for you, for me, or for the music loving public. Kicking amps until they blare feedback isn’t making music. Recording random clips of television and radio broadcasts and banging pots while doing so isn’t “creating” anything. Instead try and gather up the 1000 limited edition numbered copies of this piece of shit and burn them. Please, don’t EVER waste my fucking time with a CD like this again.

(1) Volume 1 was reviewed in Legends #95 and Volume 2 in Legends #119.