By Auntie PanPan
Watch out with an Aries!
To some kinky is just using hot candle wax and nipple clamps. For an Aries?
Kinky is a hot glue gun and duct tape and maybe a potato.
Put these bulls in a tent in the great
outdoors with some rum and smokes, they are ready for a fucking adventure.
These creatures like to romp and camp
wait. No. More likely they just want
to fuck in the grass under the stars.
You never can tell who you are dealing
with on various days. A Gemini is worse than any split personality. A sucker
for role playing
but personalities that can shift with just the weather.
One day they like oral
the next day? Anal. It might be safer for you to
let them steer the boat while you just go with the flow with the motion of the
Cancer will try anything once. Twice to
make sure. Three times if you liked it. But they just dont want to admit
that they have a kinky side. They do. Right now for them, however, Cancers
would be just as content with a mink of nine tails slightly grazing the back.
Or a bubble bath
or some fuzzy hand mitts. In fact, touch is a BIG turn on
for these crabbies. Touch and TASTE. So go ahead, get out the velvet gloves and
honey, its gonna be a fun night!
If ever I saw someone with a hairbrush
fetish, it has GOT to be YOU, little lions! If you could just find someone to
brush your hair all day, you would be one happy puddy tat. Maybe for a bonus a
little spankie here and there with the brush wouldnt hurt either, no?
If you could devise a way to put booze and
sex together? Youd do it. Lickin the nipples with some
Baileys Irish crème will send you into eye rolling fits. Sin and
alcohol? Its a good thing.
what am I going to do with
you? To hell with ethics! No
really. I mean that. You are trying soooo
hard to be good. But I do know how difficult it can be. Especially when it
comes to sex with you. You see, you dont view sex as an act of self
release. To you? You view sex as some sort of Zen-Jedi-mind fuck where and when
all the planets are aligned nshit. The fuck is not a fuck to you. It is
always a meeting of the minds. Turn you on with the head, your genitals will
follow. WARNING: when you turn a Libra on its very difficult to turn them
off. Thank God for power tools!
Nostalgia for a more better time is in
your mind right now. Those could have dones or should have dones or
you remember when you did
you are in a blah world right now. Strange.
Strange that apathy is coming from such twisted soul monkey like yourself. Oh
we all have our moments. Watch some sappy greeting card ads and eat a
lot of chocolate
you will feel better in a month or so.
Sags love a challenge! Kiss a guy
from every state? Yep. Fuck on the hood of every Edsel on route 66? Done that.
Do it on a Harley going 75 MPH through the Grand Canyon? Sags have been there.
Its time to come up with some new challenges and see what turns up.
Right now you arent thinking
about sex. You are thinking about marriage. Two totally different animals. I
wish you the best of luck in your endeavors
but faking it? I mean really!
Once you start faking how you feel, you begin to get taken advantage of.
Dont be fake. Always cum when you are called.
A joke I heard the other day: How can
you tell if absolutely NO ONE wants to fuck you? If even your hand falls asleep
while jacking off! This is Aquarius in a nutshell. The damage has been done.
Move on. Make amends. Rebuild bridges or let the chips fall where they may.
Others have moved on. You can too.
You are the feisty one right now. Pisces
love to talk. Pisces would make the best phone sex operators. I stick true to
this belief. They can talk the house down for hours. A very verbal lot of
creatures. May need to invest in either a ball gag or a pillow. Enjoy!