By Marcus Pan
I have no track list. I have no press
sheet. I have nothing but a badly drawn optical illusion like picture, a
listing of players on the back of the cover and an e-mail address and web
address. The players are Christian Sindermann, Anders Trans, Soren Skouboe,
Claudio Wolff and Sebastian Wolff. The e-mail address is a .dk, so I believe
that's Denmark or maybe Germany, but with the amount of time these guys spent
on this demo CD I'm certainly not going to spend more than that to write about
it and research that .dk fact.
I don't know what each of those five do here. I don't know
what track I'm listening to now other than "the third." I know that they all
sound grungy, lop along and otherwise unimpress me with instrument and
percussion slams punctuated by the occasional power chord and permeated by
screaming in a language I can't differenciate. I'd like to be able to say:
"Track three, called blah blah, is blah blah." But I can't.
This is obviously a black metal attempt, but they do infuse
some interesting Seattle grunge (i.e. Alice In Chains) into it by slowing it
down. But the sound is sub par and I don't know what I'm listening to songwise,
so I can't really go into detail like I normally would. Please...when you
submit to us or any other music magazine, have a track list. Have a press kit.
Even if it's a little piece of paper with "Sebastian plays the skin flute" on
it, that's fine. It's hard enough being a critic.
Now I'm going to be nice for a change. I'm gonig to actually
visit the website listed on the back of a near blank white piece of heavy paper
that pretends to be a CD jacket to see what the members do in the confines of
Brudevalsen. [click] Here we go, the same list as on the back of the jacket.
And no further information. Now I'm mad. A press release is ZIPped.
Unfortunately...I'm at work right now and not about to open unsigned Zip files
inside my network. Very well then...nothing further to say, let's finish
Overly unimpressive both musically and presentably,
Brudevalsen has a long...long...long way to go before anyone will even remotely
take them seriously. They can play their instruments decently but
there's certainly nothing overly interesting here. The music is not as tight as
it could be, but it might be worth a bit more if a little bit of effort was put
into the pressing and packaging of this CD itself. Even the website
though flashy and nice looking has about as much quality information as
your standard press photo and nothing more. So let this be a lesson
kiddies...if Uncle Marcus doesn't have data about your band to talk about, then
Uncle Marcus is going to spend the space where he'd normally write about who
you are with fodder about how you suck instead.
Post: Jyllandsgade 94 I.TV., 6700 ESBJERG, Denmark