By Auntie PanPan
I have said this once, I
have said it a zillion times: 45 minutes of begging is NOT considered
I cannot emphasize this enough. Unless you are a true
submissive and your lover is a Dom...then beg all ya want. Beg until they beat
ya! Then have fun! Go for it! Hell! Walk down main street with a feather duster
up your ass if that makes you happy! But remember that no one owes you anything
just for taking up valuable space. If you are still dwelling on being a year
older or another year closer to the grave, you are more of a fuckin goth than I
Sometimes it takes an act of naughtiness to
get what you want. Sometimes it takes you dressing up like a nun without
panties with a riding crop. Sometimes it takes power tools. Sometimes it takes
a certain look or a certain song. But most of the time? It's the chase that
trips your trigger. Suggestion? Stay aloof. Don't be a Libra borg who
assimilates to your lover. Remember, they shagged you for who you are, not an
assimilation of themselves. They want you for the kinky little hell slut that
we know and love. Libras are cute. On a scale from one to ten? Libras are a
fifteen in cute.
Scorps are not cute. Scorps are never
'cute.' Scorpios are riveting. Scorpios are muses. Scorpios get paid. Scorpios
need love too! Scorpios are who I turn to when I am having questions regarding
various trysts and/or affairs. They are the Anne Landers of fuck. They are the
professor of fuckology.101. They do lab research right across from advanced
blowjobs (I teach THAT class...)
You are feeling that twang again. You
know the one I'm talking about: WANDERLUST. You are sitting there looking at
your luggage that is next to the door just collecting dust aching to go
anywhere. Your heart wants to stay. Your soul wants to go,
longing for another journey. Should I stay or should I go? It's up to your mind
to make the final decision. By the way, if I can get my two cents worth
hotel trial sizes I believe were created specifically for Sagittarians.
When a Cappie gets rid of baggage (for
example: an ex) they become a hippie or a gypsy for a while to find another
soul that speaks their own language. Cappies do not stay single for long. But
hopefully they will love themselves more than the next person they fall in bed
with. By the way, you will always find a Capricorn at their full blossom in a
nudist colony or a commune. I don't know why.
What? You never thought the ex would run
into the new relationship and the other relationship you don't want anyone to
know about? HA! Even if we live in big cities, we all have a horrible tendency
to get caught. Stop being something that you are not and try to be what you
are! You have potential for much. Also, unless you are a girl stop fucking with
your socks on, its annoying.
What is it with you and whirlpools? All
Pisces look their sexiest in hot tubs. I don't get it. Claw foot bathtubs will
work in a pinch. Anywhere they can lucid with tons of water surrounding them
count them in. Not standing up in a shower...that will hurt their footsies
after a while. By the way, have ya ever gotten off and come from someone
touching you with their feet? Pisces are pros at this. Try it...you might like
it. Or go grab that underwater dildo and go with God.
Children under the sign of the ram have a
thing for the head. This is the most sensitive part of their body. You start
rubbing an Aries head and you better put up or shut up. I have learned
this the hard way. Also , if an Aries is VERY horny they can get downright
violent. So keep them happy. They also have a thing for chocolate and porn.
I knew this one Taurus that liked to bite.
Seriously. I thought he had a biting fetish. I finally asked him what's up with
this? I found out he hadn't had sex in a LOOOOONG time. It came naturally. It
had a happy ending. I shoved a ball gag in his mouth and fucked him five ways
from Sunday. Needless to say, he didn't have a biting thing anymore after that.
So, as a public service, go out and give a Bull some nookie. You will be
helping them from becoming dependant on other forms of release, such as
alcohol, food, or drugs.
This sign loves the element of surprise.
Sometimes, you just go up to them and blow in their ear or lick them up their
spine and walk away...if they are interested, and 90% of the time they are, you
will get a positive response. Most Geminis are also bisexual or at least bi
curious. So if you are looking for a threesome....or a foursome....or a six
some...count them in. Every act of three or more people I have ever been
involved in or occurred at my home always had a Gemini somewhere in the fray.
Even if they are holding the camera...they are somehow involved. They like
This sign as I have said before has MOODS.
They turn on a dime. What you need to learn is what those moods are going to be
before you even walk through the door. It's difficult, I know. The best bet is
to check and see what is going on with the moon. Cancers are like the werewolf
of the sea. The fuller the moon gets, the wierder or more jovial they
get....the less moon? The crankier they get. Sometimes it also depends on what
else is going on in their chart to make this easier. One thing I HAVE learned
about Cancers: they are the best kissers. And they love to see their partner's
reaction to whatever they are doing to them. I didn't say scream your full head
off into orgasm. Save that for the Aries/Scorpios and Leos. But crabs
definitely like to know if they are doing something right. They WANT to make
YOU feel good. Otherwise, they feel horrible.
Lions for some reason, always trip my
trigger. They always are curious. You know that curiosity and that cat thing?
It's true. They are always up for new games to play and anything kinky will
suffice. Honestly though? They are just as well with a quick shag in the 24
hour diner parking lot while no one is looking. If you mention to them: "Hey! I
got an idea! Let's go fuck in a hearse!" Do not be surprised if they find a
hearse and come up to your place of work to hijack you. Expect cuddling and