Department

Ranticles: "Our Political World, the Insane Asylum"

By Canticle

I hate liberals because they have this disorienting vision of a world where all people share the same concerns they do. News flash, they don't. It does, however, make it a lot easier for people who don't like liberals to deceive and manipulate them, because all they have to do is feign possession of the emotions and feelings that liberals have. They seem possessed of some bizarre form of political Munchausen Syndrome.

Conservatives, on the other hand, live unashamed and unrepetant in a world of self indulgent whims and desires, where work leads to prosperity, but only the work they want to do and the prosperity they feel is valid. They claim not to, but really, all their desires for the world are wrapped up in what they want it to be, and screw anyone who thinks otherwise. They are realists, though, and thus possess the ability to feign emotions they don't possess and project empathy when all they really feel is contempt. This makes them high functioning Psycopaths.

Libertarians are perpetual teenagers. They don't like laws that prevent them from doing the things they want to do. Things they don't like, however, require laws because they might interfere with the things they want to do. This makes them Narcissists.

Neo-Feminists live in a world where Canadian and American women are still strapped to tables from birth and told what to think, and when to think it. They are released only when of appropriate child bearing age to men who provide the appropriate dowry to the woman’s family. It's because men hate women you see. This makes neo-feminists Delusional.

Anarchists don't exist, but manage to convince themselves that they do. They usually develop these fantasies while answering call after call from cubicles that force them to continuously inhale their own foul vapours. They suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder.

Canticle on August 11, 2005.