Bathtub Shitter Dance Hall Grind
By Marcus Pan
This is, by far, the stupidest, dumbest,
most idiotic example of teenage expressionism yet. First off, its not
even real. Its a faked out attempt to mimic D.R.I. and Descendants-like
thrash by pedantic 12 year olds. The music playing is amateurish and
doesnt even attempt to utilize talent. Vocals are growled attempts at
English, which dont sound even vaguely corresponding to the lyrics listed
on the jacket. The lyrics themselves are a horrible copulation of bad
translation and teenage look I can say bad words because Im cool
like that bastardization.
The really sad part is these jokes have released numerous
albums prior to Dance Hall Grind. Either they are too stupid to notice,
or nobodys yet told them that they do, indeed, suck. Knowing a few
constant power chords, beating on your basss lowest string only and
swinging ones arms about while sitting behind a drum kit is not musicianship.
Theyve played Germany once and who the hell let them out of the
basement I dont know.
I am listening to Dance Hall Grind and its just
horrible. So horrible in fact that Im writing this review less than 24
hours after receiving the CD in order to get it the hell off of my desk and
into a circular filing mechanism as quickly as possible. I could have written
this review based purely on the lyrical content itself the Japanese
gaming companies have nothing on these guys. They also have a scatological
addiction, as many songs here talk about taking dumps in various places
as is their band name.
I had mentioned in my review of La Mamoynia that if you
are going to sing/write music in another language, learn it. Not a few key
pop-culture phrases as Bathtub Shitter have done. Otherwise, people like me are
going to tell you how goddamn stupid you are. Heres some examples of all
our poop belongs to us for your enjoyment.
We were Bathtub Shitter! Everything was to every
shitting! (PS From BS)
When Im child,
couldnt crawl without nappy. (Everybody Has the Wet)
I am not rotten diarist
say hello from toilet every
Make a wind from a break of my pants.
It always push this board from my ass. (Skate of Bulgaria)
There was like my life on brown shining or shitting. (The
End of the Rainbow)
Theres absolutely no reason, at all and ever, for
Bathtub Shitter to continue. Ever. Just shut the hell up. You have no clue what
youre saying, and the vocals alternate between sounding like a Chihuahua
getting its nuts stepped on and an elephant being ass fisted with Mt. Everest.
I hate to be the one to break it to you kids, but what youre doing
isnt even vaguely cool. Its a school boys rip off of a scene
that you have absolutely no clue about and would be hard pressed to understand.
Stop making albums based on bad words (ooo Im so trendy!),
bad musicianship (I can play the C chord!) and fake malarkey
(They look cool, well do that!). Id tell you this is
shit, but that would be redundant.
(S)Hit Jam Records
Post: 6-A Up-City, 2-1-23, Daikotu, Osaka, 556-0014, Japan
 Review in Legends No. 155.