East West Blast Test - Popular Music For Unpopular
By Marcus Pan
Experiments are ways that
help us learn, grow and do better. Increase our knowledge. But more often than
not, experiments fail. They disprove things, which on one hand is good, so
lets use that analogy to say Popular Music For Unpopular People is
good in that it shows us what not to do anymore. After all, I only stuck my
tongue on the steel bridge in the middle of Winter once and it never
happened again. Learnings yummy.
The Last Drop is Twink wanna-be only with 9 year
olds. In the Dogloo is when my 18 month old finds the on switch on my
amp. Ok, not really
but it really isnt much beyond turning on a
guitar amplifier and playing chords while an epileptic has a seizure while in
your pantry where you keep the pots and pans. The Fathership Invasion is
the closest thing we have to a musical track thus far with weirdly played bass
rhythms contrasted against over the top drumming efforts. Passport to
Papua is interesting too, being what seems to me to be a New Guinea rain
dance or other native ceremony. But rather than it being on a music CD,
Id expect it to be on National Geographic.
A lot of the tracks are under a minute, only a handful going
over two. What Chris Dodge and Dave Witte, who make up East West Blast Test,
are trying to do here is similar to what Fantomas tried which was
just as bad, too. Unwanted Inches prances through your head with sax and
horns galore to blast away with ray guns at your waist line. Anne R.
Kaye gets Descendants level fast-chunk punk. So is Fabulous Slurry,
only its 25 seconds long, which is short even by Descendants standards.
The 44 second Chasing the Dragon stays in this vein.
In the Multi-Purpose Room we have mostly cut up vocal
samples stitched together in no decent order and Otoko No Niku is about
the same for drums and some robotic guy with a violin bow and long pubic
hairs and then Eight Hours North is guitars stitched up, nipped and
tucked. Welcome to Geelong (Now Go Home) is the longest track on the
album and closes Popular Music For Unpopular People with a farty
didgeridoo and, surprisingly enough, some well placed rhythms and ambience. I
assume they opted to end the album here because it was getting too musical to
fit the groove of the previous 22 tracks.
You know what kiddies, if you want to fuck around in your
studios making stuff thats funny to you and makes you smile, then good
for you. But the moment you press it, package it and market it there should be
something here that other people typically those who would buy it
would find enjoyable, memorable or otherwise serves some type of purpose. East
West Blast Test fails in this regard. Both Chris and Dave show accidental slips
of talent throughout Popular Music For Unpopular People, indeed. So
its not that they cant do something thats marketable. But
when they went into the studio for this one Im sure that they spent at
least a week watching both Nikelodeon and the Cartoon Network simultaneously
for three weeks until they were sure both their brains have regressed to
Post: 12242 Moorpark St., #1, Studio City, CA, 91604, USA
 Twink was interviewed in Legends #128.
 Suspended Animation was
reviewed in Legends
 You press crazy ass
music like this you get crazy ass reviews like
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