Department

Horrorscopes

By Auntie PanPan

Leo
Don't touch the hair. Don't even think of cutting your hair right now. What are you thinking? Wait a bit. It will give you good luck. I know you think that everything is falling to shit, but believe me it will get better. You will start feeling better and please realize that no matter what, everything will be okay.

Virgo
You have really stepped up to the plate to be a good friend for the ones that you love. You deserve cookies or at least they should take you out to dinner. If they don't thank you, they are not your friend because you have gone above and beyond your normal sticking your neck out for those you love. Good for you…you really are human.

Libra
Honey, I know you have had the stress from Hell. I know. I do want to let you know something though. Do not throw yourself on the altar of your loved ones or you will lose yourself. I don't want to see yourself ill because you are stressed on or about those around you. It will all work out, sweetie.

Scorpio
Sex is the last thing on your mind right now. Your biggest problem right now is breaking free of whatever prison you feel like you are in right now. I don't care if it's a job or rehab or a relationship...break free from your chain now! I don't care if others think that it screws up their life. Be free little bucky!

Sagittarius
You are not alone. There are those around you right now that love you more than life itself, you just can't see them through the fire right now. You are loved. Never forget that. You may not know that there are those that love you, but they do. They might just have a screwed up way of showing it.

Capricorn
Congrats. you are stepping up to the plate and becoming a new person...not what everyone wants you to be for them. You are becoming your own person. Good Job. Don’t backslide.

Aquarius
Sometimes silence is a killer. You need to talk to someone. I don't care if it is a therapist or a group therapy thing or even a friend or a priest. You have a ton of baggage to get off of your chest. I suggest you do it today. Don't wait. Never wait.

Pisces
You have worn yourself out praying for the welfare of others, it's time to take a step back and pray for yourself. You are loved and you need to be with those that love you as family and friend. You need to be close to those that make you complete.

Aries
Sometimes the most horrible things that happen in the world makes an Aries step up to the plate and become the raving bitch that sometimes is necessary to get the job done. You are being that token bitch that will tell everyone where to go and give them directions. Sometimes the world needs a bitch. And you will only be the leader of bitches especially if your friends need you. Sometimes bitchydom is a goddess given gift that is needed.

Taurus
You are a great soapy shoulder to sob on. You have gotten to show your softer side because the world has been insane lately. You get to show your true talents by efforts and deeds. By the way, Taurus people have a fundamental knack for home repairs. I suggest everyone have a Taurus friend that will know definitely how to replace a toilet and clean out gutters.

Gemini
You never know what to do when chaos comes and rears its ugly head. The only thing you know how to do is smile and nod. The best way to handle things then, would be to make other people laugh. Sometimes that is best.

Cancer
I feel so sorry for this sign sometimes because you are the best huggers in the world and you know just how to hug people. Maybe it has something to do with the crab pinchers, I don’t know. But you give great hug. You put your whole soul into a hug. Keep on hugging people. They need it. Don't believe them when they say they are fine, they are full of caa caa.