Human Aftertaste

Human Aftertaste defies any level of criticism simply for the fact that there is so much material there to start with that nobody ever bothers. From the waggling rubber wangs to the crazed bra-laced Count Jabula, the group has been releasing CDs from the seedier side of the south for some time now. The end result is a crazy mixture of sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll, surrealism and anime. It’s…fluffy on one end, rubbery on the other. It’s…not quite something we’re used to. And neither was this interview.

1. We’ll start the usual way we begin such discussions…who are the members and what are their duties within the tasteful body of Human Aftertaste?

Count JabulaWe'll I'm the one and only Count Jabula, but you can call me your Confederate Majesty, Nascar Superstar, Daddy, A#1 Space Invader, Master Honkey, or Keeper of the Pretty Ponies. I get the shit done. I kill the meat. I can the meat. And I sling the meat on stage ya'll. The rest of these fart huffers are just holding on to my beautiful lions mane as I drag us over the rock rainbow in the dark. Why the fuck are we gonna talk about the rest of these fags? You're talking to me! Fine here we go: Protus the gay, Wykkyd the lazy, Tiffany the dumb, Vivaldi the retarded. That's it next question.

2. Part Freddy Mercury, part splatterpunk with a smidgen of punk, overdose of rock and a look like Rocky Horror – it’s hard to decide precisely where Human Aftertaste came from and where they’re going. What is the motivation behind the group as a whole and, more precisely, the music influence?

No dummy. Let me correct you as to what I am. Part Burt Reynolds, part Megatron, with a cunt hair of Dokken and whole lot of trailer rockin thown in to make yer balls ache! Taint no Rocky Balboa up this shit it's all about being a Ninja Renegade. Now as per the Human Aftertaste that comes from Silvis Il and poof it's on yer dinner table and that's that. All the shit in between is shit I could lose my job over. You're probably the guy who wants to know why the Indians killed the dinosaurs or why the Communists buried fucked up monkey skulls in Africas to confuse us? I don't know where the Human Aftertaste is going but I do know that I'm going to Florida, I heard they have real Unicorns down there. The music comes outta one them Commadore 64s or something. We just push a button or two and out pops a polished turd and these brain scientists and rocket surgeons call them songs.

Human Aftertaste3. The new CD Loose Ends has come out and one can only wonder…is Human Aftertaste doing the pressing and distribution themselves or did you actually find a label nutty enough to take HA on?

We can it all ourselves folks. No fucking middle man to slam our ham. You know what i'm saying? Sure you might get a info-tainment CD and nothings is on it and we'll that's just the way the cookie crumbles whiner. You might get a can of Human Aftertaste and you lose yer eyesight. Oh well. I say get a cane they work pretty good. Don't bother with a lawyer we got at least 10 or 20 of them on staff. you might see a dime right around the time the Earth crashes into the sun.

4. Do you find many differences between making Loose Ends and White Man’s Voodoo, the previous album? With most bands I’d ask if they felt that they had matured towards the new album…in your case, have you regressed enough depravity to match the previous?

Here's the way I see this one. Okay so you got a pig and a donkey and they both take a huge dump. Sure one pile shit comes out of a donkey and one comes out of a pig, so in some ways it's different, but not really. In the end it's still shit and I'm still working for fucking peaunuts up this minimum wage hell. This is worse than pizza hut, I know I was a thrid shift supervisor there till the lawsuits ‘n shit. Look I'm a winner and this band will continue to see the checker flag as long as I'm out in front.

5. The CD release parties for Loose Ends are ramping up…had some unwary person wandered into a HA CD party, what would happen?

AftertasteIt's just like the time I wandered into that room with the sticky floor, and the TV screen playin’ dirty movies and the hole in the wall. It doesn't really matter who's on the the other side of the wall as long as everyone gets into it. That's the way I see it.

6. Legends Magazine held a 150th issue party that HA provided a bunch of materials and give-away goods for. One of those items were a stack of cans of “Human Aftertaste Meat” emblazoned with “Eat Our Meat!” across them. What were in those really?

If you half wits would fuckin’ get someone to read to you then we wouldn't be talkin about this for the half a gazzillionth time. I gets to the show and I’m about ready to do a couple of rails and then some fat shit ass kid comes up to me lookin like grandpa fuckin Munster and says "What's in the can?" I look deep in his sweet sorrowful eyes and I just get lost and that's when I hear Dust in the Wind kick in. Suddenly the fat kid is gone and I got blood on my hands and I'm washin my hands in my kitchen sink and I keep saying to myself there's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home. After that I don't remember and if the cops call you don't know me bitch.

Human Aftertaste7. Human Aftertaste come with their own freak show, the “Pep Squad.” Do they go to all your shows and are the part of the routine, or are these your faithful followers who travel from place to place on their own like deranged groupies in weird garb?

Yup it's a bunch of fruits n fruit fuckers that come to our shows. I'll tell ya. The Pep Squad gets em all stoked up for the ritual blah blah blah. Yeah we gots Sanjula and he spills the blood blah blah blah n pulls out hearts like Mola Ram. Titty bear beats em till their pee pees get hard then Perpatron fucks the kids. Ass Chicken razzle dazzle anal spazzle n toys spill out his butt. Aids monkey spins like a wet willy shootin AIDs taint on everything till the Earth splits open and the sacrifices are all chewed up nasty style and we collapse in pools of blood n poop. That's all pretty routine. This is all secret Nostrodamus, Azteca Calander, Dale Earnhardt prophecy shit you wouldn't understand.

8. How did the Moline, Illinois police treat Count Jabula when he was arrested for showing all the little parade goers his hairy ass? I understand that they didn’t perform as police are expected and the ACLU was contacted. Any news on the protest of this incident currently underway? Any other details you want to share about this particular incident? Did you at least get a decent cavity search?

Those pussy ass cops were just angry that I wasn't gonna show up to rock out at their policeman's ball so they had to have their way with me. I fought like a friggin White Lion but they had me all oiled up before I could wriggle away like the viper I am. If yer ass is hangin out on the 4th of July folks don't expect none of them letters that mean something to help yer broke ass out. Not the the NAACP, FDA, FDCPA, FTC, CCCP, or the THAT....THAT means "The Human Aftertaste" stupids. I don't know what the other fucking ones are about.

9. I understand there’s a situation comedy courtesy of Human Aftertaste. Explain?

Comedy is farts and farts is comedy. The ancient Romans of Atlantis believed this as well and they ruled the world for 5000 years. I film myself farting then I film myself watching myself farting and laughing about it. Then we film that while I fart. Now that's comedy and as per the situation I don't know what you mean exactly. Are you trying to get smart with me?

Human Aftertaste10. What’s coming in HA’s future? Will Aids monkey sue the city of Moline? Will the sitcom be picked up for another season? Will Irv misplace his skullet? Will Justina find her way home and Count Jabula find new uses for flaccid black cock? WHAT’S NEXT?!

Lemme break it down shot gun style to you pussy lips. I have visions of the future that would make yer asshole go numb. Why do you want me to spoil you with the future bitch? You can't stop it like Micheal J Fox. You gotta live this shit one day at a time. It all kind of reminds me of my carny days when I ran the Wicked Tornado Twister. Yeah most of the bolts were rusty and loose but we tried to get em on with a little duck tape and elmers glue. It all seems good till the fat bitches wanna ride. I mean if it all comes apart weren't you just glad you didn't get arrested and you were able to change your name and move to another state? You know what I mean stupid? Oh yeah and fuck Irv's cat shit breath, Justina is a cry baby, Protus can hold my pocket and the Mysterious Jim rules. #3 forever stupids!