By Auntie PanPan
Ego ego ego. Not always a
good thing. I know that you are getting ready to be in total control of all the
situations around you for the next few weeks, but you really need to be
sympathetic to you fellow peers that are not in control. I know that maybe
someone might have said something hurtful to your romantic side of you a little
while ago...they didn't mean it, it was probably an air sign rambling without
turning their inner censor on. They are prone to do that, they don't always
mean what they say, so ignore it.
Unless it was a Virgo or a Scorp...or a Sag. Then they
did mean what they said and, if so, ouch!. Better luck next time,
As usual, you have fallen on your feet and
money is coming out of your ears. Spend wisely. Now would be a good time to pay
back all those that have helped you for so long. But depending on if you are
shallow and only believe that you are the only thing that revolves around the
sun in the universe, you won't do such a thing. I would suggest some IRA's
though. Maybe a medical savings account since you are a hypochondriac and hate
Talk about needing medical insurance.
Honest, you are okay...just not mentally. You need a live in therapist.
Everyone is out to get you and you feel like you have no life. I know you
believe that everyone thinks that you are evil. This isn't true. You just give
off the impression that you are evil. This is what happens when you are stuck
between two creepy signs: Virgo the analytical and Scorpio the methodical. You
always get mistaken for one or the other. But trust me, you are all scales,
babe. Yeah, you feel lazy right now. Why? Because you have been running non
stop since the beginning of the year, no wonder now that everything has stopped
you don't know what to do when the chaos is over. Trust me, it will start up
again, and then you will be more than happy under tons of stress to keep you
My aren't you the one with the quick
comments that tear into people's souls and rip them asunder? Not cool. Bad
Scorpie. No cookie. You are the raccoon from Over the Hedge! That or
that scary assassin from the Da Vinci Code. Wow. What a comparable. You
are so happy that the Bettie Page movie is coming out that you even bought a
dress for the occasion...even the Scorpio girls did, too! I think you have
reached your financial limit on books, eating out (no puns or double entedres
here please), and just stuff! Stop buying so much crap! You can't afford it,
knock it off! Also, you need to stop smothering everyone ...or you will end up
alone. What? You say you can handle being alone? Right. You never need any
minions to worship your feet, eh? I'll keep that in mind.
Yes. They are out to get you. No, you
are not paranoid. They want your immortal soul. I know you think you have lost
your little mind...but believe me, it is a conspiracy. Have I fed into your
paranoia enough? Good. Now listen to me: they can only hurt you if you let them
hurt you. Otherwise, they do not exist. Remember your saying: give them enough
rope to hang themselves. And never ever stay in one place too long to leave too
much information for someone to use against you. Think Sandra Bullock in that
movie The Net? That's you, babe. Just circumvent their programming and
all will be zen hugs and cookies!
Why oh why, you wonder, does everything
have to change so much all the time? Well, that's the thing about life. The
only thing that is constant is change. You learn to roll with the punches,
sweetie. I suspect you will be moving in the next 18 months. I only say this
because I am sure that you are hungering for something in a location that you
are stagnating in. Everything will be better by the end of 2007...this is my
mantra and I'm sticking with it.
Wow. You really are bored, aren't you?
Your groupie fan club all come down with the flu? Sorry, I like bashing you
when I'm bored. Hey, Pan! Whatcha wanna do today? Hmmmmmm. Well, I could go get
a job at Wal Mart, or pick on some unsuspecting Aquarius...sounds great! Let's
go get some sticks and some hot pokers! Although it would be fun to go bug that
smiley faced corporate regime with red hot pokers. Maybe Friday night.
Seriously, tho. Watersigns, I really don't know what to tell you, except that
you are a big flirt from another planet and you are still waiting for the
mothership. What more can I say but that? None of your poems rhyme, you are a
gothic hippy and you desperately need grounding. Nuff said.
I love Pisces. I love them so much that I
just want to give them a big hug and never let them go! Pisceans are great at
picking up conversations and saving the day. Gods bless these creatures! Your
gift for gab is going to save someone from a fate worse than death for the next
few months. Keep up the good work...and get more sleep! A little sleep never
hurt anyone. You are the prime motivator in saving those you love around you.
Keep up the good work and I'll pray for ya.
Wow. I have never seen an Aries actually
piss off everyone they know to the point that you have been shunned like an
Amish girl wearing red scarlet knickers at the barn raising annual picnic! How
did you do that? Maybe it started by accidentally on purpose stealing money
from friends and family? Or, maybe it happened when you started lying and
spreading gossip about people that you thought would never get together and
compare notes. Wrong! I have to tell you, the older some rams get, the stupider
their reactions and manipulations get, also. You wonder why you and Scorpios
never get along? This is why. Scorpios never get caught! Oh, sure, they do the
same stupid shit you do...but they always have a backup plan or an alternate
escape route. Dumbass.
The best thing for you to do right now is
lay low and watch the nuclear explosion from your clubhouse in your lawn chair
while drinking a beer. Then, when all the shitstorm is over and done, you can
come in with a broom, pick up your luggage and go. I know that you have heard
this before, but I will say it again: " Do not sacrifice yourself on the altar
of your loved ones...especially if they are being stupid." Sometimes you just
gotta pay the check, tip your waitress and get out of dodge before another
storm hits. I hope that helps.
Oh mi god. You grew up? When did this
happen, Peter Pan? Probably when you found your first gray hair in a place that
is not on your head. Honestly, you are doing great. But you know as well as I
do that you will backlash into doing something dorky and everyone will go "You
are such a goof!" It's expected. It doesn't matter what age you are. I have
seen dorky Gemini 87 year olds...it doesn't matter. You are under a chattery,
babbling, flower wielding, nerf gun toting, silly string sign. But intelligent.
Never forget that. You are not stupid. Just a dork.
My goodness. You are funny when hot under
the collar. You too can power walk all your anxieties away...just be sure that
you don't walk so far to the point you are in another country. You really know
how to get your mad on when you want to. I suggest that you go ramble off your
anger to another person. You can't bottle it up inside. Or you will blow up.
Little exploded crab meat all over the living room floor! And I just