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DVD Review“Werewolves on Wheels”By Dan Century
Dig this: a gnarly gang of bikers and their horny biker mommas are cruising across the Desert Southwest, kicking shit, flashing tits and raising hell. Helen, one of the biker mommas, asks “Tarot”, the gang’s spiritual leader, to read her Tarot cards. Her fate: to be struck dead by lighting in a tower. Not long after, the gang arrives at the grounds of a monastery, with a tower that looks exactly like the tower foretold by the Tarot cards. A gang of monks descends from the tower and offers the bikers wine and bread… One thing leads to another and Helen is doing a topless snake dance for the monks, who as luck would have it, are satanic monks. Bikers, tits and Satanists! What is this, a movie, or backstage at a Monster Magnet concert? The bikers, drugged by the satanic monk wine, wake from their stupor, kick some monk ass, and rescue Helen (what a buzz kill! – I was hoping the topless snake dance would last for the rest of the movie). The monks beaten unconscious (obviously they were not Shaolin Kung Fu monks) and Helen rescued, the bikers ride for the desert and make camp. Bikers like to fuck and biker mommas like to get laid, so Mouse and Shirley scurry off into the brush to “bump some uglies”, but the kind of ugly they bump into isn’t human genitalia – it’s a werewolf that precedes to slaughter their asses. And that’s only the beginning of the gory, satanic, Lycanthropic insanity (I don’t want to spoil the ending for you). If it weren’t for the tits, blood, cat murder and Satanism, Werewolves on Wheels would be perfect fodder for Mystery Science Theater 3000 – it’s too silly to take seriously, but it’s certainly entertaining enough to enjoy at a party with a room full of friends. (If you took the werewolves out of the movie and just make the characters go psycho, it would have been a much creepier and even believable film.) Werewolves on Wheels was co-written and directed by Michel Levesque, who was the art director for some of Russ Meyer’s wackier films: Up!, Supervixens, and my favorite Beyond the Valley of the Ultravixens, and you can definitely see similarities between Werewolves and Supervixes and Beyond (mostly tits, motor vehicles, and the Desert Southwest). The bikers and their rides look very authentic, the soundtrack is very good considering that’s it’s a low budget film and the desert scenes are gorgeous. The weakest part of the film is unfortunately the werewolf makeup and transformations. If you’re a biker film or Russ Meyer fanatic, then you might as well rent Werewolves on Wheels. If you’re looking for a crazy film to watch with a room full of wacky maniacs, a keg of beer and a couple loaves of satanic monk bread (or pizza – pizza works too), you should get this wacky film. Contact Information: Click to Buy! |
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Before there were Snakes on a
Plane, there were Werewolves on Wheels!
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