Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster
By Dan Century
Why couldnt Mystery Science Theater 3000 have
featured this film? Thats my question. It would have been awesome!
Nuff said, but Ill say more.
In the opening scenes of Frankenstein Meets the Space
Monster we meet the Princess and Doctor Nadir, paranoid space aliens who
dont want to conquer earth they only want to borrow the finest
earth women for breeding purposes. The Princess and Nadir hover above the earth
casually shooting down NASA rockets, waiting for the right time to commence the
booty snatching. Dr. Nadir, is one of the greatest B-Movie characters of all
time. He looks and acts like an effeminate John Lovitz in eye-liner, Spock
ears, a bald cap and a bejeweled wrestling cape. The entire production is
campy, low budget and ridiculous like Plan 9 from Outer Space
with twice the budget, which isnt saying much.
Back at NASA Captain Frank Saunders is set to be the first
man to travel to Mars. But, Frank is not a man hes a robot
comprised of human parts, the guts from a 13 Zenith television and a few
transistor radios. Hes a space age Frankenstein monster! In one over the
top scene Jim Karen, the guy who used to do Shop Rite commercials, peels back
Franks scalp to reveal a brain that is half living tissue and half
electronic equipment: transistors, vacuum tubes, condensers, tangled wires. And
it looks real it looks like they ripped out half the actors brain,
broke a TV set and stuffed the guts in his skull. I wanted to vomit and laugh
at the same time.
NASA sends Frank to Mars, but before he gets too far Dr.
Nadir and the Princess blow up Franks rocket, which crashes back to earth
in Puerto Rico. Thats not a tragic accident thats a fabulous
vacation! And Im pretty sure the folks that made this film used the
Puerto Rico location as an excuse for a little R&R on the companys
dime. Theres even a bizarre montage of Jim Karen and his assistant
cruising around San Juan in a motor scooter.
Anyway, Frank is fucked up and on the loose in Puerto Rico,
and the Princess and Dr. Nadir send spacemen after him to finish the job they
started. Slack-jawed Frank is hilarious as he stumbles around the beach, and
even funnier after a spaceman shoots him in the head revealing what looks like
a 1960s transistor radio stuck in mud.
The Princess reveals Phase 2: her plan to acquire
breeding stock. Their first victim is a voluptuous young blond in a
polka-dot bikini (which changes color from one scene to the next). The Space
men vaporize her fat, oafish husband and take her back to the mothership, where
she is forced to endure an awesome body inspection.
The spacemen continue their kidnapping spree, invading a
swinging sixties pool party with plenty of fine young specimens to choose from.
The scene is pretty hilarious as they explode a dude who was doing the twist on
the diving board. Frankly, they did humanity a service from removing him from
the gene pool.
All this leads to an epic battle between the space aliens,
some stock footage of the military, Frank, and Mull, a pig-skull gorilla space
creature. Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster is one of the best
B-Movies ever made. I dare say its more entertaining than Plan 9 from
Outer Space, and its a must-see film for any MST3K fan.
Dark Sky Films
Post: MPI Media Group, 16101 S 108th Ave., Orland Park, IL, 60467,
Click to Buy!