Department

JOEY HEADSET: “Joey Says Hi.”

Do you love movies, TV, music, celebrities, pop culture?

Do you enjoy action-adventure comedies, Reality TV, Disney-pop, VH1 nostalgia shows, rap-rock, celebrity gossip?

I don't.

Hi, I'm Joey Headset, and I hate everything. Well, maybe not everything. There are a few things I don't hate... or maybe I hate them a bit less than I hate certain other things. But mostly, I just hate stuff. And now, I'm writing my very own column for Legends Magazine!

Longtime readers might ask: Who is this "Joey Headset" and why is he qualified to write for the premiere publication covering gothic, industrial, gothdustrial and industrigoth music? These are valid questions! Responding to the first, I'd simply say: None of your damn business. Regarding the second question, I would put my qualifications up against anyone out there. Well, not ANYONE. I'm not as knowledgeable as hardcore fans of these genres. Or even casual fans. Look, I'll be honest: I don't actually listen to this music. I do own one old Depeche Mode LP, but it's the really gay one with the guy from Erasure... so I'm not sure that even counts.

Even so, I do agree with the central theme of Legends: The Darker the Music, The Brighter the Mind. But I wonder... is the inverse of this premise true as well; The Darker the Mind, The Brighter the Music? I do have a rather DARK mind, yet I listen to lots of bright, happy pop music! In fact, I particularly enjoy listening to happy music when I'm doing dark activities. Like strangling puppies.

Anyway, I'm thrilled to be part of the Legends team and I'm looking forward to contributing. Join me, won't you, as I transform my petty hatred for damn near everything into magazine-column-humor for your personal entertainment.

It's going to be fun. Really.

For more Joey Headset: www.joeyheadset.com
September 16, 2006