CD Review

Twisted Sister – “A Twisted Christmas”

By Marcus Pan

A Twisted ChristmasNo, this is just too damn good to make up. This is, bar none, my favorite Christmas album in the world – from any genre, any decade and any group. Nothing comes close, nothing shreds more, nothing makes me want to break shit and chop down trees anywhere near as much as the latest from Twisted Sister, the 80’s rock masters themselves. I admit when the cheesy ass trumpet and barely-attainable high-note sung parody of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas kicked off here I was scared shitless. Ok, you got me…you had me going there for a second you crazy guys.

I’m happy to announce that Dee Snider still freaking wails. He’s still 25 years old. Really, he must be. I also have to say that the classic line-up of Eddie Ojeda, Jay Jay French, A.J. Pero and Mark Mendoza are here as blaring loud, obnoxious and freaking fun as they were when they first stepped out (began, some say) into the hair metal extravaganza in 1976. The Sisters shred through some classic Christmas tunes – Deck the Halls, O Come All Ye Faithful, The Twelve Days of Christmas and even The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire).

O Come All Ye Faithful is done brilliantly to the tune of We’re Not Gonna Take It and it fits perfectly – solos similar to the original 80s hit and everything. White Christmas is a sure-fire, balls out heavy metal thrash rocker, one of those that will surprise you with its refreshing idea yet original class. I’ll Be Home For Christmas is a power ballad worthy of the originals of the genre – powerful, far reaching, ultimately delivered by Dee and the gang with feeling.

Twisted SisterHeavy Metal Christmas is a fun remake of The Twelve Days of Christmas with silly lyrics about getting spandex, hairspray, tattoos and studded belts in your stocking. Silver Bells is treated like a metal anthem – and why shouldn’t it be? I have no good reason why not, and after giving this one a spin neither will you. It is, after all, a Christmas anthem, isn’t it?

What I really enjoy about this album is that they’re not really fucking around. They’re dead serious about celebrating the holidays, being with family and friends – it’s not by any stretch of the word a parody. Though they kick it off with a bit of fun, and Heavy Metal Christmas (The Twelve Days of Christmas) gives us a little tongue in cheek, the album as a whole is heartfelt, truthful and doesn’t bullshit you. Twisted Sister will be home for Christmas. They really want it to be white. They are calling the faithful and proclaiming it’s Christmas time – and they mean it. If you’re looking for something to poke fun at the holidays, it’s not here. A Twisted Christmas is truly a holiday album, not a parody album, and it will offer as much feeling, good tidings and brilliance as Pat Boone and The Carpenters did – only in their own style. I highly recommend it – break out your denim, paint on your face paint, grab your fruitcakes by the nuts and hit the holiday festivities feeling as much in style as that guy in the collared shirt.

Contact Information:
Razor & Tie
Post: 214 Sullivan St., New York, NY, 10012-1354, USA
Phone: (212) 598-2201
Fax: (212) 473-9174

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