Humor

Warning: Read This and We Own Your Soul

By Ron White

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Sometime in the lives of most PC users - when they're really, really bored, and there's nothing more interesting to do than back up a gigabyte drive with floppy disks - they will actually read those technolegal warnings that come with each software package.

If you've ever been that bored, you'll have noticed the warning says the mere act of opening a paper envelope means you'll never let your brother-in-law borrow the program - even for a couple hours. At the same time, the warning also has some wording that goes something like: "Big Old Gigantic Universal Software, Inc. (BOGUS Inc.) makes no representations or warranties about this product and disclaims any warranties, expressed or otherwise, or advertisements, or what the guy in the computer store told you about the fitness of this software for any particular purpose." Sorry, Charlie.

All this is couched in mumbo jumbo so stultifying that you'll never read another disclaimer again.