Booze & Drugs

The Young Ones = LSD

By Neil (from the Young Ones)

When I was a teenager, right, I was only seriously depressed like twice - once for four years and once for five. The first of these periods hit me when I hit thirteen. This depression followed hard on the one I'd been having when I was twelve, which like dated back to a bad vibe I had as a fetus, but those were childhood depressions which are not what I'm talking about now. Between my first and second adolescent depressions,

I WAS HAPPY FOR EIGHT MINUTES!!!

Yeah, I was fifteen and a half and this is how it happened. I discovered drugs. I tuned up, freaked in and dropped around. I found God and happiness within myself. I like knew, and saw, THE WHOLE TRUTH and it was a trip man, a real trip. This is how it happened. Me and my like groove pal, Rollock, were in Leamington Spa just sort of digging the summer and drawing on our jeans in biro when this guy I knew from school, well, he was my best mate actually, came up and said, "Hey, Neil and Rollock, d'you wanna score some acid?"

FREAK OUT!! DID WE! HAVE I GOT LONG HAIR?

So like we scored a couple of tabs and dropped them (which is groove talk for eating them). Like 50p a tab and it was done. My first electric cool aid acid trip. Instantly my previous adolescent depression fell away from me like Gandalf casting aside his old gray cloak. My head seemed to detach itself and float above me. I looked down and I could see that my nob was bigger than Heathrow airport. Then this like space ship landed on it and Jimi Hendrix got out and played 'Electric Ladyland' on a harp made out of my pubes except it wasn't Jimi, it was JESUS and he said, "Watch the sunshine dance, Neil, there are no more bum vibes," and I said "Each one of my thoughts is a glittering bubble, floating in space for all eternity," and then there was this groovy dancing flower in front of me and it looked a bit like Rollock and it was singing and the song it sang was…

"THIS IS AN ORANGE TIC-TAC MAN! WE'VE BEEN RIPPED OFF!"

And that was when my second adolescent depression started.