Booze & Drugs
Smoking Etiquette [The Unchecked Version]
1) The person who rolls the joint (no matter who's weed it
is) gets to spark up the joint and get the first hit.
2) If someone rolls a nice joint it's good to give the
person a compliment on his rolling skills.
3) If someone starts bogarting the bowl and starts using the
excuse that it's okay for him to bogart it since it's his weed, this is
definitely not cool. The punishment depends on the quality of the weed and how
much he put in. If it was real crappy and he was real cheap with it, then you
bug on the person and rag on him.
4) If someone is too palsy to light the bowl (due to being
too stoned or the person is just a retard) then they must relinquish control of
the lighter to someone more able to get it lit. This does not mean the person
who lights gets free hits. This privilege tends to get abused ("Hey, lemme
light it for you
5) If someone is so much of a palsy that they blow into the
bowl and blow all the shit on the floor this person must be ragged on and the
person can't smoke on the next round (unless it was his stuff).
6) If you smoke with someone in your house you should let
them eat some munchy food you may have lying around. Don't be cheap with your
food if you have food.
7) If someone who's smoked asks for a sip of your soda you
must give him some (drymouth is not fun).
8) Converse of (7). If you ask for a sip don't take a large
9) If smoking from a bong or a joint, never put the whole
thing in your mouth and get it all sopping wet. It's disgusting and it messes
up the joint.
10) If you're smoking from a bong and there's not enough in
the bowl for a whole other hit you should save the smoke in the chamber for the
next person (don't let go of the rush hole or carb and take it all
11) Never bogart.
12) Never bitch about someone else's weed being no good! If
you don't like it, don't smoke it!
13) If a friend gets you high, sometime in the future you
need to get that friend high.
14) Thou shalt not turn down a smoke. Never!
15) Phrased in the form of a narrative. My buddy and I are
sitting around smoking the weed that I just scored. After flaming up and taking
a few moderate puffs, I pass it on. The sounds that follow can only be
described as vacuum-like. After a couple of huge, lung-busting tokes the guy
passes back the remnants of something that could have, at some point, been a
joint. If it's not completely "canoed," then it's absolutely soaked. I
not-so-subtly drop that old Cheech & Chong line, "Hey man, can I wring it
out for you?" He just looks at me.
16) I have noticed the following: After smoking up, the odd
"crass-monkey" will actually eat the stained, disgusting roach. This must be
because they want that "extra bit" of oil, resin, or whatever's left on the
paper. This situation can be compared to the patron of a good restaurant
picking up his "as good as empty" plate and licking off the remaining morsels
of food. Sure he got that little pool of gravy, but was it really worth it?
17) If you buy weed from a friend or a friend of a friend it
is polite to roll a joint (a small one, if you wish) and smoke with the person
who sells you the stuff.
18) It is very impolite to hand someone an empty bowl
without notifying that person of its possible cashed-ness. A proper warning
would be, "Here 'ya go. I think it might be cashed."
19) The person who fills the bowl is given the opportunity
to take the first hit. It doesn't matter who's bowl it is.
20) Always remember to thank a person who has gotten you
high. I know it sounds silly, but I know people who never say thanks and it
gets a little annoying.
21) The person who brought the bud picks the music.
22) When using a bong don't slobber all over it.
23) Again, when using a bong don't blow out the ashes unless
that's what the "homeowner" does.
24) Never go to someone's house expecting them to catch you
a buzz. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule.
25) If you spill the bong, clean it up! And don't forget to
put water back in it!!
26) When the roach gets too small, if someone has a problem
with it it's common courtesy here to put the roach in a bowl and finish it that
way. That way the people who don't mind burning their fingers don't get it
Among everyone I know who used to smoke the stuff there was
a tradition of roller's privilege. Whoever rolled the joint got to light it and
take the first puff. Then it just got passed on. Great fun when several were
started at once and someone passed it the opposite direction to the others
after lighting it.
Around here, if the group is smoking out of a bowl (e.g.
pipe or bong) the packer of the bowl (and usually the owner of the bag) gives
it to the next person to spark up. However, if someone rolls a joint (again,
usually the owner of the bag), that person gets to spark it up. I guess because
it takes more effort to roll a joint and they "deserve" to light up the
I always thought that if you were buying from a friend of a
friend it was polite for them to roll a joint and smoke it with you before you
buy, kind of like a sample.