Booze & Drugs

Cannabis Emulsion

by Anonymous

Why bother?

Although just eating cannabis, or making a tea from it will get you quite stoned, both are fairly inefficient at getting much of the THC (D9 tetrahydrocannabinol) and other cannabinols into your bloodstream. The main reason for this is that THC is almost insoluble in water, but is very soluble in non-polar solvents (e.g. fats and oils). This is why tea is so inefficient (and expensive). If there are no oils or fats in your small intestine when you eat hashish, very little of it will be absorbed into the bloodstream. A much more efficient way is to make a solution of THC in an oil such as olive oil, and then emulsify it so that it is digested and absorbed much more rapidly and efficiently. (An emulsion is a solution of a fat in water, as microscopic fat droplets, held in the water by an emulsifying agent like lecithin. Milk is an emulsion.) Lecithin is used as the emulsifier because it is (relatively) cheap and easy to obtain, completely natural and is used by your body to help disperse fats in the gut. Lecithin from health food shops is, of course, of vegetable origin.

Instructions

1. Take either 1/32 - 1/16 OZ. hashish (resin), 1/16 - 1/8 OZ. marijuana (weed, bush), or 1/32 OZ. skunkweed for each person / victim. Note: The quantities specified of other ingredients make this unsuitable for more than four people.

2. Finely powder the cannabis and add to about 50ml of olive oil in the bottom of a small saucepan.

3. Add six heaped teaspoonfuls of lecithin granules. (250g of lecithin granules costs about œ5 at most decent health food stores. It is usually sold under the brand name ‘LeciGran.’)

4. Heat very gently until most of the lecithin has melted/dissolved in the oil, making sure the oil does not reach boiling point, as overheating will reduce the THC content. While heating, swill the liquid in the bottom of the pan about, so that it is fairly evenly mixed.

5. Turn off the heat, and add 50ml (a double) of decent vodka (minimum 40% abv). This will start boiling when it touches the oil. (Ensure that it doesn't boil out of the pan and all over the cooker.) Again, swill round to mix evenly. After about 2 minutes, add 1 pint of water (depending on how many people are drinking it). Mix vigorously with a whisk or spoon (not wooden) until the mixture looks like milk, and there are no fat droplets on the surface. Alternatively, if you are a rich bastard, you could use a liquidiser as this creates a much smoother 'final product.

6. The liquid can be diluted 50/50 with milk (full or half fat), milkshake, etc. to flavor it. Note: Chocolate milkshake is best. It is now ready to drink. The residue at the bottom of the pan can also (if you really want to get fucked up) be eaten.

Taking it

For maximum effect, the emulsion should be drunk on an empty stomach (if you can't be bothered with that, avoid eating salty foods for an hour or so before and after - they reduce the effectiveness). On an empty stomach, it usually takes 30 minutes to an hour to come up, with the effects peaking in 1 to 3 hours. The effects can last from 6 to 18 hours. The intensity of the hit and the buzz obtained depend on the amount and type of cannabis used - if you use l/16 oz. of Northern Lights (rich bastard), don't expect to be walking anywhere for a day or so. Similarly, if you use Skunk don't expect to return to Earth for at least 12 hours. I do not advise you to drink much alcohol while on this, because it fucks you sideways (not always pleasantly).

Legal warning / Disclaimer

Under the Misuse of Drugs Act (1971), Cannabis Emulsion is Class B, Schedule 1, being a 'product or preparation' of a Class B controlled drug (cannabis or cannabis resin). This has been written in preparation for the day that the pointless criminalisation of pot smokers is abolished (probably around AD3000 at this rate). If you are nicked for this, you should have washed up while you were waiting to come up. This document in no way constitutes incitement to commit the offense of possession of a controlled drug. It is rather an incitement to emigrate from this undemocratic little shithole.