Booze & Drugs
THX & THC - Two Great Tastes That Taste Great
(I wrote this article a while ago, so it's a bit out of
What comes to mind when people mention a trip to the movie
theater these days? Unless youre a pretentious tapehead, theres two
things that are often a big part of the ritual for you:
Chowing down on popcorn, Twizzlers, Goobers, nachos &
High-concept, or high-intensity visuals and plot situations.
What comes to mind when people mention smoking marijuana?
Unless youve never smoked up you know that being stoned involves certain
A significant increase in appetite, particularly for junk
Fascination with bright colors and stimulating visuals.
make Don Knotts seem like Robert De Niro.
Naturally, these two activities compliment each other. Weed
can maximize your enjoyment of a particular movie, or ruin it for you. THC, in
essence, makes you into a horny 10-year-old; You giggle like a girl scout, you
inhale junk food, and you get hyper and run around until you tire out and take
a nap. By natural progression of logic, stoners tend to enjoy the more
spectacular, lowbrow type of Hollywood fare. Anything overly challenging will
most likely fail to hold your interest.
Like all good Cub Scouts, stoners have to be prepared for
their outings. Roll a couple doobs before leaving home. Pack a bottle of water
and head out. Never smoke and drive; you could drop your joint and waste a
couple hits. Find a nice, quiet spot to park, but dont light up yet. The
smart thing to do is to buy your tickets first, for two reasons:
It minimizes the number of people you have to interact with
once youre whacked.
Since youll soon be very lethargic and
disorganized, its best if you can just waltz right into the theater the
minute you remember you're supposed to be seeing a flick.
Twister, Dantes Peak, Daylight, etc.
Big-budget disaster pictures with oppressive sound and terrifying visuals
become twice as intense when youre all hopped up on wacky-tabacky. The
bad acting and writing become obvious, but provide a lot of amusement between
So strange, vicious, and ludicrous that
you cant take your eyes off it. Weed helps you get past the over-the-top
silliness that may bother some people while straight.
I almost peed my pants during the prologue. Then
paranoia set in and I got scared that someone in the theater was going to cut
out my guts in the middle of the movie. This is a good feeling to have during a
Star Wars Trilogy (especially the special edition)
ultimate feel-good movie feels even better when youre high. ESB is
breathtaking, and Jedis Ewoks are somewhat more bearable.
Beavis and Butthead Do America
Oh, man. When Beavis eats
that mushroom you couldnt get me to take my eyes off the screen if you
were tickling my nuts with a feather.
Jim Carrey movies
This guy cant say two
sentences without cracking me up when Im straight. When Im stoned I
laugh so much that its painful. (I wrote this before seeing Liar Liar,
but I have to say that along with Pet Detective and Dumb and Dumber and The
Mask, Liar Liar makes Jim Carrey the ultimate stoner-star.)
Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, National Lampoons Animal
House, Billy Madison, PCU
Theres nothing like watching people smoking
up and/or drinking while youre smoking up.
Monty Pythons Quest for the Holy Grail
this flick the first time I ever really doobed out. I was certifiably insane
for 90 minutes.
From Dusk Till Dawn, Dead Alive
Transformers: The Movie
Best scenes to watch while doobed out:
Volcano eruption - Dantes Peak
Space sequences -
Star Wars Trilogy
Tornadoes in Twister
Stargate sequence - 2001
Tunnel explosion in Daylight
Magic mushrooms - Beavis & Butthead do
First fifteen minutes of Scream
Black knight - Monty Python and
the Holy Grail
Autobot/Decepticon battle - Transformers the Movie
Weeds other effects on movie-watching:
While watching Twister on video for the second time, I got
lit up real good. Suddenly the acting and direction became very obvious. Most
of the lines seemed so forced and unnatural; 90% of the time there was only one
person in frame, and the current shot lasted only long enough for their one or
two lines before cutting to a close-up of the reaction to said line. I could
see exactly where the director cut each scene, and was able to visualize the
camera setup for every scene. This was very amusing; I actually enjoyed the
movie more. Since I knew what was going to happen, I was happy for something to
keep me amused between tornadoes.
Dantes Peak had me grinning from ear to ear once the
volcano exploded. The feeling was somewhat like lying on one of those "Magic
Fingers" beds. Being fried can suck you right into an intense 15-minute special
Movies and performers to Avoid When Stoned:
Any and all weepy flicks.
Emotional stories like Sling
Blade, Naked, etc..
(BAH! Okay, enough is enough. Please feel free to add to