Booze & Drugs

THX & THC - Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together

by Anonymous

(I wrote this article a while ago, so it's a bit out of date.)

What comes to mind when people mention a trip to the movie theater these days? Unless you’re a pretentious tapehead, there’s two things that are often a big part of the ritual for you:

Chowing down on popcorn, Twizzlers, Goobers, nachos & cheese, etc..
High-concept, or high-intensity visuals and plot situations.

What comes to mind when people mention smoking marijuana? Unless you’ve never smoked up you know that being stoned involves certain things:

A significant increase in appetite, particularly for junk food.
Fascination with bright colors and stimulating visuals.
Weed can make Don Knotts seem like Robert De Niro.

Naturally, these two activities compliment each other. Weed can maximize your enjoyment of a particular movie, or ruin it for you. THC, in essence, makes you into a horny 10-year-old; You giggle like a girl scout, you inhale junk food, and you get hyper and run around until you tire out and take a nap. By natural progression of logic, stoners tend to enjoy the more spectacular, lowbrow type of Hollywood fare. Anything overly challenging will most likely fail to hold your interest.

Like all good Cub Scouts, stoners have to be prepared for their outings. Roll a couple doobs before leaving home. Pack a bottle of water and head out. Never smoke and drive; you could drop your joint and waste a couple hits. Find a nice, quiet spot to park, but don’t light up yet. The smart thing to do is to buy your tickets first, for two reasons:

It minimizes the number of people you have to interact with once you’re whacked.
Since you’ll soon be very lethargic and disorganized, it’s best if you can just waltz right into the theater the minute you remember you're supposed to be seeing a flick.

Movie chasers:

Twister, Dante’s Peak, Daylight, etc.….
Big-budget disaster pictures with oppressive sound and terrifying visuals become twice as intense when you’re all hopped up on wacky-tabacky. The bad acting and writing become obvious, but provide a lot of amusement between the FX.

Mars Attacks!
So strange, vicious, and ludicrous that you can’t take your eyes off it. Weed helps you get past the over-the-top silliness that may bother some people while straight.

I almost peed my pants during the prologue. Then paranoia set in and I got scared that someone in the theater was going to cut out my guts in the middle of the movie. This is a good feeling to have during a horror movie.

Star Wars Trilogy (especially the special edition)
The ultimate feel-good movie feels even better when you’re high. ESB is breathtaking, and Jedi‘s Ewoks are somewhat more bearable.

Beavis and Butthead Do America
Oh, man. When Beavis eats that mushroom you couldn’t get me to take my eyes off the screen if you were tickling my nuts with a feather.

Jim Carrey movies

This guy can’t say two sentences without cracking me up when I’m straight. When I’m stoned I laugh so much that it’s painful. (I wrote this before seeing Liar Liar, but I have to say that along with Pet Detective and Dumb and Dumber and The Mask, Liar Liar makes Jim Carrey the ultimate stoner-star.)

Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, National Lampoon’s Animal House, Billy Madison, PCU
There’s nothing like watching people smoking up and/or drinking while you’re smoking up.

Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail
I watched this flick the first time I ever really doobed out. I was certifiably insane for 90 minutes.

Weird Science

From Dusk ‘Till Dawn, Dead Alive

Transformers: The Movie

Best scenes to watch while doobed out:

Volcano eruption - Dante’s Peak
Space sequences - Star Wars Trilogy
Tornadoes in Twister
Stargate sequence - 2001
Tunnel explosion in Daylight
Magic mushrooms - Beavis & Butthead do America
First fifteen minutes of Scream
Black knight - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Autobot/Decepticon battle - Transformers the Movie

Weed’s other effects on movie-watching:

While watching Twister on video for the second time, I got lit up real good. Suddenly the acting and direction became very obvious. Most of the lines seemed so forced and unnatural; 90% of the time there was only one person in frame, and the current shot lasted only long enough for their one or two lines before cutting to a close-up of the reaction to said line. I could see exactly where the director cut each scene, and was able to visualize the camera setup for every scene. This was very amusing; I actually enjoyed the movie more. Since I knew what was going to happen, I was happy for something to keep me amused between tornadoes.

Dante’s Peak had me grinning from ear to ear once the volcano exploded. The feeling was somewhat like lying on one of those "Magic Fingers" beds. Being fried can suck you right into an intense 15-minute special effects sequence.

Movies and performers to Avoid When Stoned:

Any and all weepy flicks.
Emotional stories like Sling Blade, Naked, etc..

(BAH! Okay, enough is enough. Please feel free to add to this list)