Rants & Essays
Rejected by Goths
By Klaatu
Last night, I decided that I was going to have my official
"birthday blowout" which traditionally means I go someplace and get plastered,
if I have the money.
Usually I have the money for a cheap sixpack, but last night
I had the bucks to actually go out.
So I put on the camo fatigues, a plain ol' black t-shirt,
and a big silver ring for my forefinger, and headed out. But where to go?
Predictably I decided to head to the Capital Ballroom. They
let me in for five dollars, which is not bad; the place is huge, and after all
this was Saturday Night. Goth/Industrial night. So I got in and started getting
trashed.
Anyway, halfway through the night someone starts talking
about me. Now it's easy stuff to spot, as in someone pointing at me, mouths
wagging, etc. While on another trip to the back-room bar this l'il doom cookie
who looked like she's barely outgrown Marilyn Manson looks me up and down and
then proclaims me to be "lame."
Cool! This is great, this l'il doomcookie is literally about
half my age and she's just, from the height of her years of fashion wisdom,
proclaimed me "lame." Rejected by a doomcookie! Now that's almost goth.
So I hang with some people that I actually know, for a
while, and then they took off, one of them wasn't feeling too well. So I go
wandering around and try hanging out on the outside patio and got into the Goth
Glare contest with basically everyone in the place and so I start doing my
patented Psychotic Mumbling routine, which won me the Goth Glare contest.
However, having displayed my mastery of disdainful hauteur and aloofness, upon
returning to the inside I discovered that hardly even the bartender would talk
to me.
So I found myself rejected by goths. The young ones rejected
me, one or two of the older ones that I knew from probably a decade ago sort of
looked at me and shuddered or something, and when I tried to talk to them would
exchange maybe a word or two and then sort of slink off. I'm wondering if I've
maybe reached the next level of gothdom, where even goths think you're too
wretched to be borne for more than an instant. But to get rejected by an entire
barfull of goths, that's taking the next-level to the next level.
So am I the ubergoth yet?
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