Humor

New! From GothCo Industries

By Other

It is hard trying to synthesize your subculture and corporate America's need for conformity. Eventually you trade the docs in for more sensible and acceptable footwear, you cut your hair and let the dye grow out, you remove all those odd piercings and the gothest you look is in your ratty Joy Division T-Shirt and undies on Sunday morning.

So what to do when you travel on business and you get a ring at your hotel from some net.goths you know in the city? They are inviting you down to the club for an evening of drinking and dancing!

Oh, no! You would be stuck trying to find appropriate goth gear in an unfamiliar city, eventually stopping into the Gap to pick up some black jeans and black turtleneck. You would feel quite dowdy standing next to Countess Ultra in her Victorian finery who hasn't removed that corset since 1994 or Sir Phantom with his towering twenty-four inch `hawk!

So how to show these people that you are as hard-core as you were when your were nineteen?

GothCo Industries has the answer:

THE INSTANT GOTH KIT!

Super-compressed so that it fits in the most sensible purse or briefcase!

Contains:

(1) Elastic-waisted slip skirt, suitable for both men and women.
(1) One pair of strippy tights, please specify white stripped, black stripped or purple.
(1) Pre-torn fishnet body suit.
(1) Silk scarf, suitable for draping over your shoulders, or wrapping your natural blond hair up in.
(1) Band T-shirt; please specify SoM, Siouxsie, JD, Bauhaus, Cure or DM.
(1) Tape of the above band to get you into the moping mood!
(1) Pair of pre-battered 8 eye black docs; specify size.
(1) Can of Krylon "Matte Black" and a stencil so that you can apply outrageous curliques to the corners of your eyes!
(1) One pint of snakebite to render you sufficiently tossed to come off as self assured and confident!

Order today!

GothCo Industries
One Vympyre Way
Dyspyre, ID 89435

No CODs, please.