Summer 2000 Soundtracks
By Dan Century
Summer 2K: I sure a hell won't be tanning myself on a Jersey
beach. More than likely you'll find me in a bar, or in an air-conditioned
theater. Here's three summer movie soundtrack albums that are filled mostly
with crap music. I've gone through each album and painstakingly sought out
those songs I thought you would like to know more about.
The Crow 3 Soundtrack
Can you believe it? The
Crow 3! Nothing can top the original comics. The first movie was great
viewing, but bittersweet considering Lee's death. I never subjected myself to
the second movie, and I might not see the third film either.
Filter - The Best Things
forgettable track from this two hit wonder Nine Inch Nails spin-off. Not as
brutal or classic as Hey Man Nice Shot, or as sinfully sweet as Take
a Picture, but definitely slick and rocking enough to please the K-Rock
crowd. Easy to listen to, and fun to sing along with
Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl
This song can
already be found on the soundtrack to Psycho (the new crappy one), two
Rob Zombie albums and at least two metal compilations. I don't care if it's a
remix or if it rocks, I'm sick of it! Rob has other songs in his sick, fuzzy
head - let's hear them.
Infidels - Bad Brother
Sort of like a heavier
Lo-fidelity All-stars with lots of tone-deaf female vocals, including an
excruciating sample of Juliet Lewis singing in her jail cell from Natural
Born Killers. Bad, like a heart clogging, but delicious cheese burger.
Sin - Painful
A genre defying ambient/rock/dance
track similar to Babyland, Orbital, and Nine Inch Nails, yet it has an original
sound. I look forward to hearing more from this band. Arcade samples, techno
sounds, rock guitar, dance and rock beats, roboto vocals
a big mess that
makes sense by the end.
Pitchshifter - Everything Sucks (Again)
couldn't have said it better myself. It's just too bad this song wasn't so
close to sucking. Seriously, the lyrics rock, but the music is so bland I'm
ready to go on a Drano binge. Pitchshifter's last album,
www.Pitchshifter.com was phenomenal: the lyrics were brutal and timely,
and the music was raw and inventive. Everything Sucks pales in
comparison, but it gives me hope for a new album.
Static-X - Burning Inside
Sweet! Finally a
Ministry cover that rocks! After months of being tortured by Limp Bizkit's
slaughter of Thieves, and countless other aural sacrileges, we have a
decent and respectful Ministry cover. Static-X sticks very closely to the
original arrangement, with the noticeable absence of the vocal samples during
the bridge, but that's just about it. I couldn't be more pleased.
Heavy Metal 2000 Soundtrack
Who remembers the
first Heavy Metal movie? I do, but that's because I'm old. Heavy
Metal was a full length motion picture composed of several fantasy and
sci-fi cartoon shorts set to the hippest rock music of the day. I imagine
Heavy Metal 2000 will offer movie goers much the same experience. Why
fuck with the formula? And speaking of formulas
MDFMK - Missing Time
Is that a 303 Bass Synth I
hear? Trash guitars, chanting women, soulless, throbbing beats? It must be
KMFDM, oh, I mean MDFMK! Seriously this is MDFMK's best song yet! OK, that's
not saying much, but it's a step in the right direction.
Pantera - Immortally Insane
Every now and then I
have to rock out to some plain old METAL, and no one pumps out the brutal,
angry metal cheese like Pantera. Lots of raw, but not whiney, screaming set to
slow paced, but down n' dirty guitar riffage. Goofy, sure, but about as fun as
a fist full of bottle rockets.
Queens of the Stoned Age - Infinity
Stoner Rock is more like it. If you're wasted and flying a giant space ship,
this is what you want to be listening to. Treble Sabbath with the guy from next
door on vocals. Amazingly average yet supreme at the same time.
Monster Magnet - Silver Future
About as cool as
New Jersey gets. "The new stadium rock." And forgettable
Tractor or Space Lord.
Bauhaus - The Dogs A Vapor
A new song? Their
first song in 16 years and it's awesome. Mellow, ambient instrumentation, a
basic beat, that Bauhaus guitar, and Peter's vocals. An instant classic. I'll
say no more, you'll have to hear to for yourself.
Click to Buy!
Mission Impossible 2 Soundtrack
I saw the last
Mission Impossible movie, but that's just about all I remember about it.
Tom Cruise hanging from the ceiling
but not by his neck. OK, on to the
Metallica - I Disappear
These fellows have honked
major choad for a while now, and this song is another step deeper into the turd
pile. Just plain boring and forgettable. I hope the stock market crashes so
these mullet-yuppies lose their fortunes, get hungry and maybe then they'll
write another good song.
Limp Bizkit - Now I Know Why You Hate Me (Mission
For me to poop on! These Abercrombie zombies have
taken a classic TV theme and turned it into a slick hate anthem. Crap!
Click to Buy!
Dan's summer time tips: buy the albums you think you'll
like, hang out in air-conditioned places like bars and movie theaters and avoid
the sun at all costs!